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About

Hi guyz,

I'm a cyber artist and this is my blog. You can look at my blog and see my drawings if you like art. If you are very romantic, you can look at my poems. If you want to know if you like something, you can read my reviews.

You can "ask" me something and I'll tell it to you.

http://tizia.tumblr.com/ask

You can see my FASHION BLOG here:

http://cool-fashion.tumblr.com/

Check out my new JOKE BLOG over there:

http://butt-jokes.tumblr.com/

You can hire me for some things like this:

hire me for these things maybe

You can see some of my art here:

ART here!!!

SO MUCH POETRY ON HERE, guyz. See all my POEMS there:

Poetry HERE!!!

EVERY poem and drawing and painting and photo and review and quote and idea and joke is by me, except if I say it's from someone.

It's my policy never to read my reviews.

Super Artwork
Super Artwork
a book about art
By Tizia Mutant Ninj...
Photo book
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14 February 14

It’s a rhetorical question.

12 February 14

i am so sad because I didn’t update my blog in a very long time. I invented so many poems and inventions and reviews, but I didn’t put them on my blog and now they are gone. But I also have some good art I didn’t put on my blog yet, and now I am putting it on my blog for you. This one is Alf. Alf is a funny alien and I like him because he eats cats, and I don’t like cats very much. Thank you, Alf!!

7 July 13

"do it yourself" series - invent a joke

A lot of people like my jokes and a famous question is - how do you invent so many jokes? A lot of people invent one joke. They invent it as a kid or they invent it later and it’s interesting. But it’s very hard to just invent a joke that is really good. I do it a lot so I’m pretty good at it and I wrote this tutorial about how to do it.

1) One thing that’s the most important - your joke needs to be relatable. If people can relate to your joke, it’s sooo funny! But it’s hard to think of a topic like that sometimes. One good topic is dinosaurs. Everyone knows them and what they look like and do! If you make a joke about a dinosaur everyone will know “oh, a dinosaur, okay!” and they will feel smart too, and if something makes a person look smart, everything is more funny!!! Another good topic is something about the sky or a house.

2) Don’t make jokes about something thats’s not dead but could die. Dinosaurs are good too because they are dead, and there are so many jokes you can make about that! You can also make a joke about dogs, but dogs are very normal and not so interesting, and if you make a joke about a dead dog everyone will be sooo sad! This is a good example: if you make a joke about a giraffe and the giraffe hurts itself because it went on a roller coaster and its neck was too long, then that’s really bad and mean!! But if the dinosaurs, the ones with the long neck, all died because of roller coasters, that’s so funny!!! That could be a joke!!

3) The best thing for a funny joke is when it says something true about something, but then the funny part is that there is another thing that could be true too, but it’s funny because it’s not really true! For example, dinosaurs really liked to eat trees. It’s because they are vegetarian. But what would be so funny is if your joke asks why dinosaurs eat trees all the time. Everyone will say “it’s because they are vegetarian!!” but then you can say “no, it’s because they are vegan!!” That’s funnier because they also don’t eat eggs or milk, so it could also be true! Because where can a dinosaur buy eggs and milk?? He can’t!!! And that’s the funny thing!! But how do you think of that answer? The best method is this - think the question a lot. Why don’t dinosaurs eat meat?? Why?? Then think of answers. You can do that by thinking of the real answer first, and then an invented answer. The good thing about inventing a joke is that you can invent the question, and it can be any question you want!!! Think of any question, like maybe a question you want to know the answer to. For example my question could be: why are dinosaurs so big?? That’s interesting. Think of the question a loooottt. Why are they big? Why are they so big?? It’s because of evolution. But that’s the real answer so it’s not funny. Now think of a fake answer. Why can a dinosaur be big? Big dinosaurs, why??? Because they always wore really big high heels!!!! It’s not true, but it could be true if they had high heels! So that’s why it’s funny.

These are the most important parts about inventing a joke. Sometimes it’s really hard to think of an answer. Then you can just change the question and it will be easier. If you have a really good question but can’t think of a funny answer, you could ask me because I have more experience with it. Like a really hard question would be - why do dinosaurs not have pets?? That’s hard. I think in reality they didn’t have pets because they didn’t know about that. But to make it a funnier I could think of a reason why people don’t have pets. Like I am really allergic to cats, so that could be true for dinosaurs too. So that’s not a funny answer because it’s true. But a funny reason could be - because they ate them!!! It’s funny because dinosaurs could eat little animals. But if you say that joke, don’t say it after the joke that dinosaurs are vegan. Because not all dinosaurs are vegan, only the vegetarian ones.

If you need help with your joke, please ask me HERE.

Look at other things to do it yourself!

21 May 13
6 May 13
This is Eli and his girlfriend or maybe fiancee. This was when they dressed as Thor and Snowbird for Halloween maybe. I already drew Eli once, because Eli is from a famous band in San Francisco. When I drew them, their name was “Music For Animals,” but now they have a new name and it’s “Nova Albion.” You can look at their Facebook website HERE, so please like them and listen to their music. 
You can also look at their new video, it has a naked lady and a naked man in San Francisco, it’s here: https://vimeo.com/45556497
But if you like them, you can also look at their old videos, like this one, because it’s really cool and looks like from the 80s and it’s called “If Looks Could Kill”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC3ZktGtPvk
Which one is Eli??? He is the one with the long hair!!! 
PS: if you want me to draw you, you can ask me!!!

This is Eli and his girlfriend or maybe fiancee. This was when they dressed as Thor and Snowbird for Halloween maybe. I already drew Eli once, because Eli is from a famous band in San Francisco. When I drew them, their name was “Music For Animals,” but now they have a new name and it’s “Nova Albion.” You can look at their Facebook website HERE, so please like them and listen to their music. 

You can also look at their new video, it has a naked lady and a naked man in San Francisco, it’s here: https://vimeo.com/45556497

But if you like them, you can also look at their old videos, like this one, because it’s really cool and looks like from the 80s and it’s called “If Looks Could Kill”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC3ZktGtPvk

Which one is Eli??? He is the one with the long hair!!! 

PS: if you want me to draw you, you can ask me!!!

25 April 13
This is a drawing of my mom and me on the beach. On this day, it was very sunny, and when it’s very sunny and you’re not wearing sun glasses, people look funny and not very smart. I drew this photo, but then I didn’t show it to anyone. Do you know how to use commas? Sometimes I know, but right now, maybe I don’t.
This is a drawing of my mom and me and my brother too. HERE!!!

This is a drawing of my mom and me on the beach. On this day, it was very sunny, and when it’s very sunny and you’re not wearing sun glasses, people look funny and not very smart. I drew this photo, but then I didn’t show it to anyone. Do you know how to use commas? Sometimes I know, but right now, maybe I don’t.

This is a drawing of my mom and me and my brother too. HERE!!!

8 April 13

sirmitchell said: Where can I buy that amazing Hulk Hogan sticker?

Hi,

Thank you so much for liking my bumper sticker a lot!! It’s my best art. You can buy the bumper sticker with me. I had a lot but now I only have one. My mom has one but she put it in the toilet. Will you put it on your car? I will mail it to you, it’s $5. First it was $2, but now it’s more because I’m more famous and greedy.

I’m so happy you like my bumper sticker because I like your art and I look at it sometimes. Thank you for being so nice! I think I have a crush on you.

24 March 13

My friend Roy paid me 50.000.000.000.000.000 Jewish Dollars (50 American Dollars) to draw him. 

I also drew his brother Gille.

4 March 13

Did you know you can buy me to draw you? Because you can!!!

23 February 13
This is a drawing of my friend Kiki, her name is Krisztina. She is a really good photographer and she has a photography website with Annelaure, and this is their website:  http://alandk.com/ 
They live in London and they also produce shoots for other photographers and they help other photographers find agents and are really good at everything. 

This is a drawing of my friend Kiki, her name is Krisztina. She is a really good photographer and she has a photography website with Annelaure, and this is their website:  http://alandk.com/ 

They live in London and they also produce shoots for other photographers and they help other photographers find agents and are really good at everything. 

20 February 13
"You are addicted to my art - or do you like crack?"A legitimate question.
My new business card, reminiscent of my days as a Crack Poet.

"You are addicted to my art - or do you like crack?"
A legitimate question.

My new business card, reminiscent of my days as a Crack Poet.

17 February 13
Uncle Sam, your mom, your best friend, your worst enemy. That barista that put whole milk in your skinny latte. 

Uncle Sam, your mom, your best friend, your worst enemy. That barista that put whole milk in your skinny latte. 

15 February 13

america, usa

image

This is a drawing of my favorite things in America.

America is the greatest country in the world. Everyone can be anything they are. If you are black you can be a president or a rapper. If you are brown you can be into computers or Indian food. If you are white you can be tanned. If you are yellow you can get treatment for your hepatitis. If you are Asian you can look like a comic book. If you are a person you can have a gun. Nothing is a limit!!! Freedom and happiness is the most important thing ever, and everyone can have it because it’s the law.

In America, the food is the best in the world. Every food is cheese. You can eat a fish and it has cheese on it. You can eat an omelette and it has cheese on it. You can eat a vegetable and there is a lot of cheese on it, because cheese is the most delicious food on your food. If you want to eat anything and make it more delicious, eat it American, because it is fried. If you want to eat something, eat it in America, because it is bigger than a face. Eating is the most important thing in America, and it is the law. 

If you want to buy something, buy it in America. If you want to buy a toast, you can buy it in the shop where you buy your toothbrush and your socks, because the most important thing is to have everything. If you want to buy something, you buy it in every shop in America!!

In America, “no” is an opinion, not an option, because in America everything is possible, and if you want it, the most important thing is to have it!

America, it is the greatest country in the world, and that is the law!!!

Check out more reviews HERE!

14 February 13
Posted: 1:27 PM

Roses are red
Apples are too
Firetrucks too

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh