is this the more cooler version of a blog?

me and mr. jackson

Samuel L Jackson is a very famous actor, and everyone knows how he looks like because he wears a Kangol hat and he is black. 

Today I was at my gym. Then I finished, and I went to talk to the people of my gym at the front desk about something. Then Samuel L Jackson came into my gym! Of course I immediately recognized him from an earlier encounter in Mendocino and my intense character study of him during “Celebrity Blind Date.” And also because of his signature hat.

In Mendocino, which is a city on the coast of Northern California, my friends Sophie, Jason, Carolyn, Heinz and I were walking. We walked and we were very hungry, or we were very full because we just ate mussels. One of them. Then we walked, and I saw Samuel L Jackson! He was standing on the street with his dog. His dog is a blonde “Labrador Retriever,” which is a famous dog everywhere. I knew it was Samuel L Jackson, because Samuel L Jackson is famous for wearing a black hat from Kangol all the time! I told my friend Jason that I just saw Samuel L Jackson (because the others were walking really fast, maybe we all had to pee). He looked at Samuel L Jackson (by now we were far away) and he said “That’s not Samuel L Jackson.” No one believed me that I just saw Samuel L Jackson.

Later that day, we had dinner and played the game “Celebrity Blind Date” which was a game Sophie invented. In the game, someone has to think of a celebrity, and then the others have to think of a celebrity too, but of the opposite gender, and then you need to pretend to be the celebrity and answer the questions the first celebrity asks so the celebrity can decide which celebrity to date. My celebrity was Samuel L Jackson. Actually I don’t know a lot about Samuel L Jackson except that he is a man and he is black and he wears a Kangol beret all the time. But because my celebrity was Samuel L jackson, it was like a character study. His answer to most questions was very manly and about a hat.

Kangol is a company that is famous for its hats and has a kangaroo as a logo. It is mainly famous because Samuel L Jackson wears a hat from the company. So when I saw the man in Mendocino wearing the Kangol hat, I knew it was Samuel L Jackson because Samuel L Jackson is maybe the only person in the world that wears Kangol berets aside from any black person who wants to look like Samuel L Jackson.

So I was standing in the gym, and Samuel L Jackson came inside. I was surprised to see Samuel L Jackson again after our brief encounter in Mendocino. But I was very busy waiting for my paper work from the guy at the counter, so I didn’t say Hi to him. Then the woman in the counter noticed that Samuel L Jackson was waiting for someone to check him in, and it’s really impolite to make people wait if they are famous, so she turned to him and told him “Jackson, right? I got you!” and then she gestured him to go inside and start his work out. 

Samuel L Jackson is nice, but he is not in his target weight range. I think he is a little chubby, so he has to go to the gym. Maybe it is because he ate a lot of mussels in Mendocino. With some dedication in his work outs, Samuel L Jackson will be less chubby.

invented inventions

Inventions are one of the coolest things in the world. Basically, everything ever is an invention that someone thought of and invented. For example: a hat was invented to keep the head cool in the sun and to look good. A chair was invented to sit on it when you are working on your computer. A treadmill was invented so you can run forever. 

But the most exciting thing about stuff that was invented is thinking about it never being invented. What if no one ever invented leg warmers? Then maybe people would have evolved to have more hair on their legs (already true!! So maybe the invention was too late). Or if no one ever invented pillows. Maybe our heads would be much softer because of evolution trying to make things better for us. 

Imagine that Alexander Graham Bell, who invented the telephone (and maybe also the word “bell”?), had never invented the telephone. Before people had telephones, they had to use pigeons to send messages to their friends. Pigeons were one of the most important animals in the world!!!! They were trained to fly to your friends or enemies and bring you a message that they were carrying around their throat. The messages could only be short, so they had to fly around a lot. 

Now it’s been so many years since telephones exist, and we don’t need carrier pigeons anymore. But imagine if we would still need to use pigeons to bring messages? Because of nature, pigeons would have gone through a big stage of evolution and become stronger and easier to spot (because it’s hard seeing gray on gray, and most places that are important have gray skies). Most likely, carrier pigeons would have started to become bionic pigeons! That means they are really strong and big. 

Here is a picture of a bionic pigeon. It has arms and legs and wings, and lots of eyes to see traffic (because of all the pigeons flying all the time). To emphasize how big it is, it is standing next to a miniature mouse that is magnified by a really strong magnifying glass to make it look bigger.

The pigeon is yellow because it is from Austria and that’s the color of the national post. Seeing a bionic pigeon in the world that never had telephones would be like seeing a postal truck - nothing special. Just a normal thing. 

Basically, you can imagine this endlessly! Every invention ever made could have not been made and then changed everything forever! It also works the other way around. Maybe the person that would have invented warm ice cream just died before he could invent it! Or the person who invented magnets that work only on onion shells so they are easier to peel. The possibilities are unlimited!

One of my favorite inventions that was never invented is this one:

If you lose something, or you are in a shop with lots of clothes, you can make everything ever blend out and turn white, except for the thing you lost that you are looking for, or all the clothes that you like and fits you. This way we would spend so much less time looking for things or clothes.

! dustpiggies !

My FAVORITE ARTIST in the whole INTERWEB made an account on tumblr so I can follow him more closely. 

CHECK HIM OUT and follow him guyz.