When I went to Hawaii for my holidays, I had to fly for a long time (five hours). I had a book that I was reading and an ipod with a lot of music, but I also got bored and looked at the seat pocket in front of me. They always have in-flight magazines there, like one about safety, one about TV and one about shopping. I was flying United, and they never have their own TVs on the seat (even when I fly from Europe to San Francisco, which is a really, really long flight), and the ones on top are so far away, so I never look at the TV magazine when I fly with them. When I was a kid I always looked at the safety one, because I was scared of flying. I am still scared of flying but I know the safety well now. So I looked at the shopping magazine instead. It was such a big magazine. Usually I look at shopping magazines and all they have are travel-sized make-up and perfume (really dangerous actually, because perfume can be used as a weapon - but please don’t do that), and always a lot of cigarettes.
Already the title of the magazine was weird, because usually they are called something like “In-Flight Shop”, but this one was called “Sky Mall” (malls are a much bigger version of a shop). But the photo on the cover looked like a business magazine (a man was giving a presentation on a projector about market growth), so I was really confused. So I started to look at the magazine, and I found a lot of products.
The first product I saw that caught my attention was this one:
Have you ever lost your phone in your bed? It happens to me all the time. I have two blankets and a pillow and a book and a bunny, and I like to keep extra stuff that I am currently using in my bed, and sometimes I lose my phone between my blankets. Or sometimes I am about to leave my home so I take my phone, but then I leave it somewhere and I can’t find it anymore (usually it is under clothes), and I can’t leave because I need to take my phone!!! With this invention, you always have your phone with you, and you don’t even have to hold it. It’s an easy way to not lose it. They have it in pink and black and in denim, so boys and girls can wear it. You can buy it for $29.95 HERE. (They also have a video with instructions on how to use it).
Then I saw this product:
Have you ever had a BBQ (short for barbecue) with a lot of friends, and you all use plastic plates because it is easier to throw away than to do the dishes, but you drink a lot and you stand up a lot to talk to people? Then when you go back to eat your steake, you don’t remember which one was yours. If you use a branding iron on your steak, you can always identify your steak because it has your name on it, but it is still healthy and doesn’t have any chemicals on it (like if you would write it with a marker). You can also use it for a more romantic thing, like if you make a dinner for someone you love, you can brand it with LUV or with SEX or WOW. There are so many possibilities actually. If you have a big company BBQ you can order more and you can make them spell your company website (like: www tea com). It is such a fun gadget to surprise your guests with (maybe you can use them instead of seating cards?).
Then I was in the garden section. This was the next thing I saw that was special:
This one is called “Bigfoot, the Garden Yeti” Statue. This one is good if you were a fan of “Harry and the Hendersons" for example, or if you believe that there are big foots, or if you really saw one once. It is "more than two feet tall", so really big. It is also good for making robbers run away instead of breaking into you house, because at night it could look like a real person or a really big dog, or, if you live in Canada, a bear. If none of those apply, you can also just use it to have a nice accessory for your garden.
This was another product in the garden section:
If you have a Japanese or Chinese style garden, you could buy “Basho the Sumo Wrestler” as a decoration. They made him look like a real sumo wrestler because of his face, his hair and his body position. If you don’t have a garden but like to have minority groups as furniture in your home, they also have a Basho table. For the table he is standing on all fours and has a glass plate on his back. See it HERE.
I think 90% of the reason that this product I saw next is so famous, is because of the movie “Meet the Parents”:
It is a set to teach your cat to use your toilet. I feel very ambiguous about this product, because I feel weird about sharing a toilet seat with a cat. I think the cat would pee onto the seat a lot, because he can’t sit back far enough to pee all inside the toilet without kind of falling inside, so he would have to partly pee on the seat. But I think that if I had a cat (I don’t, because I am so allergic), I would also be happy if I didn’t have to clean her litter box all the time (it also stinks), so I would like it if she peed in the toilet (do they also poo there?). Also, my colleague at work once told me that her cat had a funny acting stomach and she had diarrhea over the whole apartment. I think she would have been happy if it would have been inside the toilet only.
This one was my favorite product of all:
Do you ever have really big spiders in your room and you want to kill it but it’s so big that it’s disgusting to kill it (because it would crunch loudly and you would kind of feel it, and it would feel kind of like killing a real animal)? Or maybe it is a spider that is too far away. Then you can use this machine. I think I would use it a lot.
I saw another good one here:
If it is hot outside, and I am in the sun a lot, sometimes I get a headache. Then I need to make my hair wet and have my head cool down. This is a convenient way to cool your head without going into the shower all the time.
There were so many good products, but those were my favorite ones. I don’t know how the “Sky Mall” works when you are on the plane, because I am confused how they can have all those products on the plane (they even have a bed and a CD case for 2,250 CDs and a machine that turns your slides or negatives to digital images). If they don’t have all of those products on the plane, then why would they have the magazine there? So they probably need to have them all somewhere. Maybe that’s why they charge you 25 dollars to take extra luggage.