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Hi guyz,

I'm a cyber artist and this is my blog. You can look at my blog and see my drawings if you like art. If you are very romantic, you can look at my poems. If you want to know if you like something, you can read my reviews.

You can "ask" me something and I'll tell it to you.

http://tizia.tumblr.com/ask

You can see my FASHION BLOG here:

http://cool-fashion.tumblr.com/

Check out my new JOKE BLOG over there:

http://butt-jokes.tumblr.com/

You can hire me for some things like this:

hire me for these things maybe

You can see some of my art here:

ART here!!!

SO MUCH POETRY ON HERE, guyz. See all my POEMS there:

Poetry HERE!!!

EVERY poem and drawing and painting and photo and review and quote and idea and joke is by me, except if I say it's from someone.

It's my policy never to read my reviews.

Super Artwork
Super Artwork
a book about art
By Tizia Mutant Ninj...
Photo book
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15 February 13

america, usa

image

This is a drawing of my favorite things in America.

America is the greatest country in the world. Everyone can be anything they are. If you are black you can be a president or a rapper. If you are brown you can be into computers or Indian food. If you are white you can be tanned. If you are yellow you can get treatment for your hepatitis. If you are Asian you can look like a comic book. If you are a person you can have a gun. Nothing is a limit!!! Freedom and happiness is the most important thing ever, and everyone can have it because it’s the law.

In America, the food is the best in the world. Every food is cheese. You can eat a fish and it has cheese on it. You can eat an omelette and it has cheese on it. You can eat a vegetable and there is a lot of cheese on it, because cheese is the most delicious food on your food. If you want to eat anything and make it more delicious, eat it American, because it is fried. If you want to eat something, eat it in America, because it is bigger than a face. Eating is the most important thing in America, and it is the law. 

If you want to buy something, buy it in America. If you want to buy a toast, you can buy it in the shop where you buy your toothbrush and your socks, because the most important thing is to have everything. If you want to buy something, you buy it in every shop in America!!

In America, “no” is an opinion, not an option, because in America everything is possible, and if you want it, the most important thing is to have it!

America, it is the greatest country in the world, and that is the law!!!

Check out more reviews HERE!

18 January 12

cheesecake factory - a review

My good friends Sophie and Jason who are in love got married four days ago, and because they had a wedding, their families came to watch. It was good, because it was my first wedding. If I would give it a review, I’d give it a good one.

Today was the last night that Jason and Sophie’s families were in town, so we had a plan to drink cocktails and watch Sophie and Jason schmoop. We wanted to go to a place, which was the TONGA ROOM! The Tonga Room is a big significant location because I wrote a review of it HERE and Sophie’s family is a big fan of my review and kept reviewing it to me! (good reviewing). There was a lot of hype about the Tonga Room and everyone was excited to have cocktails there. But then: the Tonga Room was closed! I wasn’t there because I had to meet my good friend Patrick first, but everyone went to the Tonga Room and it was closed! I was worried, because I thought maybe it was my fault because I gave them a bad review, but then Sophie said it was because Joe Biden, who is the Vice President, was having dinner in the Tonga Room. A vice is something like a bad habit, and I think Joe Biden has a bad habit for food, because if you’re really rich and important, you probably don’t go to the Tonga Room because it’s a little lame. 

The Tonga Room was closed so we had to go somewhere else, maybe also for dinner because everyone was hungry after the excitement of the closed Tonga Room (I think. I wasn’t there). Everyone was confused about where to go, and so the new plan was going to the Cheesecake Factory. If you are from England or Europe, like Sophie’s family Jessica and Sarie (like Harry or Hairy, but Sarie), the Cheesecake factory is cool. They have a lot of big food and salads and big cheesecakes. I remember that when I moved to the States the first time, I thought the Cheesecake factory was cool too because they had a lot of food and it was American. So the new plan was going to the Cheesecake Factory. 

Have you ever gone to the Cheesecake Factory? Because one thing about the Cheesecake Factory is that everyone is there, all the time. Everyone was at the Cheesecake Factory again, and when we got there (now I was there too), we had to wait for a long time. One of their cool inventions is a piece of plastic. You order a table, and when your table is ready, your plastic vibrates and flashes red. Then you can come back from where you’ve been and can get your table. It’s a really good invention that I love. You can walk around, and then just come back when your plastic vibrates. It’s a little naughty too. 

We waited a long time. Sophie was having a bad migrane and everyone was a little upset. I went outside on the balcony and someone took a photo of me with a flash! Then he ran away. I went inside and told everyone that someone “made a photo” of me, and then I noticed I said “made” instead of “took” and it was wrong, but I was too embarrassed to change it. No one said anything about it. Jessica was holding the plastic, and finally it started blinking! We got our table, it was for seven people. Before today, it would have been for twelve people because that’s how many people we were! But today we were seven and we got a table for all of us. 

The Cheesecake Factory is a big restaurant with a lot of food. They have more food than Cheesecake, so their name is misleading. We looked at the menu for a long time. Everyone was hungry and overwhelmed by the choices! There are about 70 things to eat. That’s good if you want to order 69 things, but if you want to order one thing, you need to rule out ordering 69 things first. That’s a lot of deciding, and if you’re bad with decisions, you are probably going to have a hard time.

I couldn’t decide what to order, so I made everyone else order first. This is a trick I learned from not deciding what to order, but it’s also a bad trick because if you’re the last person to order and you still don’t know what you want to eat, you are under a lot of pressure because sometimes the waiter says he will come back later, and no one gets their food because you’re thinking of what to order, and everyone hates you. But it’s also bad because sometimes you order something you think you want because you are under pressure and everyone is looking at you, but you don’t really want it, and then you just hate yourself for ordering the wrong thing because it turns out everyone else ordered exactly what you wanted!

I ordered a burger. A burger is something to eat when you just don’t know what to get and you don’t want to spend a lot of money. But at the Cheesecake Factory they have about 20 burgers! Each one is different. Everyone was looking at me and I had to order my food, so I looked at the first burgers I saw, and ordered one of them. It had onions which I like and a wheat bun, which is like a healthy bun, which is important if you eat a burger. I was excited, because on Monday we went walking in Golden Gate Park and then on a hike, and I had a burger for lunch, and it was a burger from “Jenny’s Burger" which is delicious, and everyone was jealous of my burger because they got Burritos next door.

The Cheesecake Factory has more than 70 things to order. Maybe 150 or more. Maybe 200. Because they also have an extra menu that’s called “Skinnylicious” and it’s a diet menu from “skinny” and “delicious”. It’s a funny name and maybe an oxymoron. Skinny basically always means not delicious. Jason’s mom had a Skinnylicious Chicken Salad, and it looked delicious.

Everyones food came, and then my burger came. I looked at it and I was sad. I’ve had a lot of burgers in America because burgers were invented here and are really delicious. But this burger looked like I got it in Europe in a public pool. Burgers in Europe aren’t famous because they don’t really exist. And food in a public pool is always a little worse looking than the same food in a normal place. But food at the pool is also always the most delicious kind, because you’re hot and hungry and wet, and the food is very oily and yummy. 

I looked at my burger, and was upset. Everyone had food that looked really nice and special, and my burger looked like a wheat baguette made from the same bread they serve you on your table for free! But then I ate it, and it was like a real pool burger - it tasted delicious! I ate my burger and loved it, and was happy I chose my burger!

The Cheesecake Factory is a funny place. It’s very big and American, and everything about it is delicious! It is a chain restaurant, so it is a little less special, but it’s a place with good food and big portions. If you don’t finish your food, you can take it home and finish it at home! In Europe you can’t do that because your portions are small and it’s rude. And if it’s not rude, it’s impossible because the restaurants don’t have a box for you to take your food home in. I didn’t take home my burger because I ate it all.

If you are from Europe, going to the Cheesecake factory is really good. If you are from America, going to the Cheesecake Factory is probably also very good, because everyone is there, always. 

21 October 11

review - happy hour in the tiki bar in the tonga room in the fairmont hotel in san francisco

Sophie, Jason and I had a very good idea which was eating a Hawaiian all-you-can-eat buffet at a tiki bar. Tiki bars are invented in America probably. They are a wooden style bars with wooden style mask and mainly they are basically exotic. Their style is tropical and Polynesian. Tiki bars are cool because they are magical. They are dark and a little bit like a beach or a rainforest. I have never been to a tiki bar because Austria doesn’t have them. But Sophie likes tiki bars a lot, so we decided to go to the famous tiki bar in Sophie’s old guide book. 

The tiki bar we went to was called “Tonga Room.” The Kingdom of Tonga is a state in the South Pacific Ocean. Tonga is not related to Toga, and suggesting that it is would be a very stupid thing to write in your review. But maybe it could be? It isn’t. But the words are nearly the same and I thought a Tonga is a Toga. 

The Tonga Room is in a very famous hotel in San Francisco that is called “The Fairmont.” You can tell that it is a luxury hotel because of its building. It’s very luxurious and beautiful. Usually a lot of flags on a building are always a sign of luxury or of a school. 

Because the Tonga Room is a tiki bar by a luxury hotel, it is very expensive. But on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday they have an “extensive” happy hour buffet. The buffet is all-you-can eat and it is only $9.50 (plus a minimum of one cocktail)! If you go for dinner, sometimes you pay $9.50 for just one dish, and then once you finish it’s done, you can’t ask for more (very rude). So paying $9.50 and getting more is an amazing good deal and that is why Sophie, Jason and I decided to go to the Tonga Room Tiki Bar!

We got to the Tonga Room. You enter it on California street although the hotel is on Mason street. If you want to go to the Tonga Room, go down along the hotel on California and enter the door close to the big sigh that says “Tonga.” It’s also the entrance to the gym (“Club One”). Even if Google Maps shows the restaurant next to the Mason entrance, it isn’t. It’s on California.

Next you have to ask for a table. They will offer you a table on one of the sides of the room, on a deck that looks like a ship, or in the middle of the room between a lot of people but close to the bar. If you aren’t sure which table you want, get the one on the ship because it’s better. If you want to be close to the bar, don’t, because you have a waitress that can get you anything from the bar.

The tables are made of wood and the chairs too, but they have pillows which are really soft. That is good if you plan to stay for a while. The room is very dark and tropical. There is a candle on every table and light-lantern style strings. They are nice because they give a nice mood. There is a ship’s wheel and straw hut roofs, and in the middle of the room is a giant pool, but a dark one and it’s not for swimming just for mood. 

The special thing about the Tonga Room is that they have storms. Every 30 minutes maybe, they have a storm with rain and thunder and lightning, but it’s a trick storm because it’s indoors and storms aren’t indoors except for Donald Duck when he is unlucky. The thunder is just a soundtrack, and the lightning is just flashes of light bulbs. The rain is kind of real because it’s water that comes down, but they made it themselves with sprinklers maybe. It’s a mood thing, and it works. It lasts very short, but the room feels wetter because of the rain. 

It is important that you order a cocktail. You have to, because that’s the rule of the buffet. They have a selection, and every cocktail is $7.50 because it is happy hour. Normally the cocktails are more expensive. They have a selection, and one yummy cocktail I had was the Tonga Itch. It sounds nasty because itches are STDs sometimes. This is a cocktail and it is delicious. You can see all the cocktails they have HERE.

In the middle of the room is something that could be a dance floor, and there you will find the buffet. When we saw the buffet we were very surprised. It was on a table that was not very long. This is what they had:

- Chicken wings in a sweet chili sauce
- Macaroni salad
- Spicy edamame
- Fried rice with ham
- A mix of cantaloupe, honeydew and pineapple, but mostly it was honeydew
- Asian style noodles with vegetable style stuff
- Mini spring rolls with a sauce
- More chicken wings in hot sauce 

I didn’t miss anything. This was their buffet. I was very disappointed and sad.

This is a photo of the fruit and some chicken wings and some edamame.

- The chicken wings in the sweet chili sauce were tasty, because chicken wings and sweet chili sauce are yummy and everyone likes them. I had lots of chicken wings, and one of them had the most meat on it I have ever eaten from a chicken wing! That was nice but could also mean the chicken was bionic.

- The macaroni salad was very horrible. I dont like macaroni salad because I don’t like mayo, but sometimes you eat something you don’t like and it’s okay. This macaroni salad was very disgusting. 

- The edamame were okay. They had very good intentions because of the spicy stuff, but they didn’t taste very fresh and it’s edamame - it’s not a real food you cook!

- The fried rice was very normal. It was fried rice, and if you don’t like meat it sucks because it had bits of ham in it. I like fried rice, but it usually fried rice has stuff in it except for ham. Like pineapple. It didn’t. It was boring.

- The fruit was very horrible, too. It wasn’t fresh fruit and it tasted like they got it from a can. Pineapple is always yummy, even from the can, but they didn’t have much pineapple, mostly honeydew that was disgusting. I used some pineapple and ate it with my fried rice so it would be less boring. 

- The noodles were very oily and boring. They are the noodles you get at a Chinese buffet when you pay $4. I ate them and they were whatever. 

- The spring rolls were okay. They had a sauce which was good because they were the kind of spring rolls that are dry. They tasted like spring rolls that you get and you eat but don’t comment on because they are normal; not delicious or disgusting. You just eat them and talk to your friends. 

- I didn’t taste the other chicken wings. But they are chicken wings and hot sauce, and everyone loves chicken wings and hot sauce.

It was very disappointing and sad, and I had 4 servings because I was hungry and I wanted to eat more so it would feel less expensive to pay for a Chinese dinner at a tiki bar. 

In conclusion, the tiki bar in the Tonga Room was nice, but the food was sad. But if you go to the Tonga Room and read this review first, you will feel less bad about it, because you will go for the experience and not for the food. And the experience was nice, and the cocktails were nice, and if you aren’t facing the people coming in and out of the gym next door, you can see a nice room with pretty lights and have a good time. 

Here are some tips:

You can have the happy hour all-you-can-eat buffet from Wednesday to Friday between 5 PM and 7 PM. I think I would suggest to go at 5 PM and then eat a lot, then wait and get more food before they take away the buffet at 7 PM. The waitress was nice, because I’m always shy to get a lot of food from all-you-can-eat buffets because the waiters are always mean when you take all you can eat, but our waitress told us to get more plates with lots of food before the buffet closes. 

Another good tip is that when you eat, eat two plates, then wait. Sometimes you eat and your stomach is full, but it takes your stomach 15 or 20 minutes to tell your brain it is full! It’s true! If you don’t know that, you keep eating and then when you notice how full you are, you already ate too much and feel very sick.

More details are HERE.

30 March 11
Restaurant Review: BUBBA GUMP
It was Spring Break in America, which is a famous holiday where a lot of girls get naked and everyone gets really drunk and pregnant. But everyone can have spring break, even without doing any of that, because it’s a school holiday during spring. 
For my spring break I went to LA to visit my friend Chris. Chris is one of my best friends!! He was so excited for me to visit, and I was too because I didn’t visit him in so long! 
On Friday we went to Santa Monica beach. I like Santa Monica beach, but it was so cold on Friday. We were lying on a blanket and were really cold, but in the sun, if you were really flat on the ground, it was okay. We watched a little girl who had a kite. When you are a kid, you can make so many jokes. Everything that it the truth is basically a joke. The little girl had a kite with a frog on it, and the frog was on a tree. The name of the kite was “Tree Frog.” The girl was with her dad and she made a joke saying that the name of the frog was “tree frog” because it was a tree and a frog. It is so funny because it is true, right? 
I got hungry so I went to the pier. On the pier are a lot of restaurants. One of the restaurants was Bubba Gump! Bubba Gump is a famous restaurant chain because it is from the movie “Forrest Gump” which is a famous movie. 
Bubba Gump is a restaurant with a shrimp theme. The theme is a shrimp because Bubba, Forrest Gump’s friend, he wanted to make a shrimp restaurant because his mom made shrimp, and the mom of his mom made shrimp, and the mom of his mom’s mom made shrimp. So the restaurant is about shrimp.
They had a TV, and the TV played Forrest Gump on loop. They also had a TV with sports. 
I ordered a Mahi-Mahi fish with vegetables and rice to go, so I could eat it at the beach. It was really expensive, but fish is always very expensive. Then I ate it, and it was okay. I didn’t have very many vegetables, only a few onions and carrots and asparagus. 
Final review: I like Bubba Gump, but his Mahi-Mahi is not the best one. But it’s not bad. It’s okay. Go there if you want to eat shrimp. Maybe. Because I haven’t tried their shrimp. Try their shrimp, then, if it’s good, it’s a good restaurant. For shrimp.

Restaurant Review: BUBBA GUMP

It was Spring Break in America, which is a famous holiday where a lot of girls get naked and everyone gets really drunk and pregnant. But everyone can have spring break, even without doing any of that, because it’s a school holiday during spring. 

For my spring break I went to LA to visit my friend Chris. Chris is one of my best friends!! He was so excited for me to visit, and I was too because I didn’t visit him in so long! 

On Friday we went to Santa Monica beach. I like Santa Monica beach, but it was so cold on Friday. We were lying on a blanket and were really cold, but in the sun, if you were really flat on the ground, it was okay. We watched a little girl who had a kite. When you are a kid, you can make so many jokes. Everything that it the truth is basically a joke. The little girl had a kite with a frog on it, and the frog was on a tree. The name of the kite was “Tree Frog.” The girl was with her dad and she made a joke saying that the name of the frog was “tree frog” because it was a tree and a frog. It is so funny because it is true, right? 

I got hungry so I went to the pier. On the pier are a lot of restaurants. One of the restaurants was Bubba Gump! Bubba Gump is a famous restaurant chain because it is from the movie “Forrest Gump” which is a famous movie. 

Bubba Gump is a restaurant with a shrimp theme. The theme is a shrimp because Bubba, Forrest Gump’s friend, he wanted to make a shrimp restaurant because his mom made shrimp, and the mom of his mom made shrimp, and the mom of his mom’s mom made shrimp. So the restaurant is about shrimp.

They had a TV, and the TV played Forrest Gump on loop. They also had a TV with sports. 

I ordered a Mahi-Mahi fish with vegetables and rice to go, so I could eat it at the beach. It was really expensive, but fish is always very expensive. Then I ate it, and it was okay. I didn’t have very many vegetables, only a few onions and carrots and asparagus. 

Final review: I like Bubba Gump, but his Mahi-Mahi is not the best one. But it’s not bad. It’s okay. Go there if you want to eat shrimp. Maybe. Because I haven’t tried their shrimp. Try their shrimp, then, if it’s good, it’s a good restaurant. For shrimp.

27 July 10
21 June 10

big island review - number two

This is more review of being on Big Island. 

After the Black Sand Beach we went into our car again. We had to drive to our next hotel which was in “Volcano”. Not inside of a volcano, but the town is called Volcano because it is next to the big volcano national park (the name is not so creative I think). It was a nice drive there, but it got really cloudy and then the windshield was getting wet. But our roof was open, and it wasn’t raining. But it was cold so we put on the roof. I think we were driving through a lot of clouds that made the car wet. This is what it looked like:

Volcano is further up and inside the island, so it was really cloudy and much colder. We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast which was so nice. We stayed in the “Pele Suit”. It was nice. The best thing was that the mattresses had this thing inside you could turn on, called “Sunbeam”, and you could turn it on to heat your bed. It felt nice because it was actually kind of cold there, but with the Sunbeam it was warm. 

This is the Breakfast Room of the place. It was sweet:

Then we were hungry so we wanted to eat. Volcano is a very small town, and basically it has just one road, and everything is on that road. So we drove down the road and we saw a restaurant, but they weren’t open yet, so we went to another one called “Lava Rock Cafe”, kind of like Hard Rock Cafe, but with Lava because it’s in Volcano. They don’t have a website. 

I ordered a Loco Moco because that’s a famous dish in Hawaii and my brother told me I should order it. I was hungry, and then my Loco Moco came. This was it:

It is a hamburger patty with an egg on top, on white rice and gravy on it. I ate it. I don’t know if it was on purpose or a mistake, but there was no salt in it, and it tasted like nothing. It wasn’t very good, but I don’t know if it’s because I don’t like Loco Moco or because they don’t do it well in the Lava Rock Cafe. Maybe they don’t put salt on it because they want to be healthy. But it is a hamburger patty in gravy, so I don’t know if it helps to use no salt. Probably not. 

After we ate it was too early to go to bed but too late to go to the volcano park. We asked the waitress at the Lava Rock Cafe what we can do. She said there is nothing to do in Volcano, but there is a bowling lane. So we decided to go there. The bowling lane is inside the “Volcanoes National Park”. You have to pay 10 dollars per car to go inside, but that was okay because we had only one car and the entrance is valid for 7 days and we had a plan to go in the next day anyway. 

It was hard to find the bowling place. It is in the area where there are some houses (after the visitor center and the steam vents, on the right). But we found it. We played bowling and I won!!!! I have never won in bowling before, because I’m actually a really bad bowler. But I was so good, that I won the whole round! Here is a photo of my scores (I am the toppest row):

Next to us were some small kids bowling. They were so small, one of them was like 3 or something, but they were carrying their bowling balls and they put them on a rack where they pushed them down. They were really good at it! The bowling cost us $15.

Then in the room next door they had so many video games, like an arcade in Italy! My friends played a game of shooting people, like some kind of war game, and I played a game of shooting as a Sheriff/Cowboy, but somehow I didn’t know how to use it, or it was broken, because I kept shooting but it didn’t work. But I had about 5 rounds, but I lost each of them with zero points. It was such a stupid game, I was so upset! I played the war shooting game too later, and it was much better.

Then I played some table tennis but I wasn’t very good, so a little boy came and he told me that he wants to play instead of me (with my friend) because he is waiting for his cousin to come and he is a better player (he wasn’t really). So I played a fighting game, I think it was Tekken. I like that game a lot but I wasn’t very good at it either because I was used to playing it on the Playstation (the old gray one).

Then two men came to us and they said there is a free game of air hockey, and no one is there. So we went, and there really was a free game, just like that! In fact, there was another free game after that too! I am good at air hockey and I beat my friends all the time. 

It was kind of late then and we were so sleepy! We went home to go to bed so we would wake up early again to go to the Volcanoes Park.

The first thing we saw at the volcano place was a big crater, and on the far side there was an opening with smoke coming out. I think that was the volcano opening. It looked like a volcano fart:

Then we went to another crater. You could hike around it, but it would take two hours (we heard a guide say that in the visitor center) so we didn’t want to do that. But then we walked on and on, and we decided to just do the whole walk! First it went through a forest and it was so nice, then it went inside the crater!!!!

This is the view of the crater from above:

This was inside the forest:

This was when we got into the crater:

This is also inside the crater:

This was at the end of the crater before we had to walk up a long way of forest again to get back to our car:

It was such a nice walk, but the last part of going up in the forest was so bad, because we are all not so fit and were out of breath fast. When we got to the car, we were so tired. We left the park and went to eat in the restaurant where we wanted to eat the day before, but had been closed. I had a sandwich with Mahi Mahi. 

This was the end of the review number two!! More soon.

14 June 10
Last night we went to Buzz’s Sand Trap which is a restaurant in the northern part of Big Island. We didn’t want to go there, but our guidebook is from 2008 and the restaurant we wanted to go to (it was marked with 2 dollar signs - like this: $$ - to say it is borderline affordable) was not there anymore. This has happened to us a lot on our trip. 

Buzz’s was a restaurant next to a golf course. We ordered the “catch of the day”. It was a Mahi Mahi. It had a side of choice. We chose “our famous salad bar”, because it sounded famous and good. But it was really small and only had one type of salad and lots of other things, mostly not so delicious. It was really ugly looking too. Maybe it is famous for being unfamous, like my website. 

Our fish wasn’t so good, it was tasteless. Our bread was old. The restaurant had interior that wasn’t nice. It was about 3 dollar signs ($$$) worth of money that we had to pay for our food. It was so disappointing. Also the people were strange, because they looked like they live in this fancy golf resort (the restaurant was inside the golf resort), but they didn’t look fancy. It made me think about American people and I invented this poem. It’s about the restaurant and true.

Americans are so unglamorous
Borderline disgusting
In flip flops
And surfer shorts
In the fancy restaurant 

The woman there
Should wash her hair
The man should watch his mouth

The waitress is delightful
In a way that is frightful
And not very formal

The baby boy 
Sure needs a toy
And stop this fecal play

Last night we went to Buzz’s Sand Trap which is a restaurant in the northern part of Big Island. We didn’t want to go there, but our guidebook is from 2008 and the restaurant we wanted to go to (it was marked with 2 dollar signs - like this: $$ - to say it is borderline affordable) was not there anymore. This has happened to us a lot on our trip.

Buzz’s was a restaurant next to a golf course. We ordered the “catch of the day”. It was a Mahi Mahi. It had a side of choice. We chose “our famous salad bar”, because it sounded famous and good. But it was really small and only had one type of salad and lots of other things, mostly not so delicious. It was really ugly looking too. Maybe it is famous for being unfamous, like my website.

Our fish wasn’t so good, it was tasteless. Our bread was old. The restaurant had interior that wasn’t nice. It was about 3 dollar signs ($$$) worth of money that we had to pay for our food. It was so disappointing. Also the people were strange, because they looked like they live in this fancy golf resort (the restaurant was inside the golf resort), but they didn’t look fancy. It made me think about American people and I invented this poem. It’s about the restaurant and true.

Americans are so unglamorous
Borderline disgusting
In flip flops
And surfer shorts
In the fancy restaurant

The woman there
Should wash her hair
The man should watch his mouth

The waitress is delightful
In a way that is frightful
And not very formal

The baby boy
Sure needs a toy
And stop this fecal play

7 June 10

On being an optimist

#4: Expect not to share your meal

31 May 10

i take you out

I was getting take-out food at the Sushi Bar and this is a poem I invented about being there and waiting for my take-out (true story).

I am getting take out at the sushi bar
There is an Indian person next to me
Eyeing me suspiciously
Then he leaves
And a big American takes his place
I feel so violated in my space
There are so many people here
Which is why I’m leaving here
And taking it out
To eat all by myself

As I leave I wipe a tear

10 May 10

restaurant review - “spices II” and “genki”

I had Chinese dinner with my friends in Inner Richmond, which is an area in San Francisco. It was called “Spices II” and is on 291 6th Avenue. I don’t know why it is “II”. I think it means “2”. It has spicy Chinese food from Sichuan. Sichuan is popular mainly for being the title of the book “The Good Person from Szechwan”, which is a really good play by Bertolt Brecht. (There are a lot of ways to write “Sichuan”, and those were two. I don’t know which one is correct). The food was good but not really spicy, but I liked the beans most. And the duck which has a crust of salt.

Then we went to a little shop which sells things from Japan, and also crepe. Crepe are a french type of pancake, they are really thin like pancakes we eat in Austria, not like the fat pancakes in America. The place is called Genki. I got one crepe with Nutella and ice cream, because that is usually my favorite flavor. This is what the crepe looked like:

It was a “hard” crepe, not a soft one. It was crunchy. I don’t like that so much, so I didn’t enjoy the crepe a lot. But I liked the Nutella in it and the ice cream too, but it was too cold to bite into.

This is what the area looked like where they made the crepe. There are a lot of Nutella glasses in the back:

I bought this in the shop:

They are from Japan and really expensive to buy here, but I have had them before from when my friend Keita from Japan gave them to me, and I love them.

This is the paper the crepe was inside of:

You can go to Genki at: 330 Clement Street, San Francisco, CA 94118. You can call them at (415) 379-6414

8 May 10
Found this secret recipe at a secret location. Ate it also.

Found this secret recipe at a secret location. Ate it also.

2 May 10
I had this ice cream yesterday with my good friend in the Castro. It was two nut flavors and one banana flavor. It’s like an ice cream penis but better.

I had this ice cream yesterday with my good friend in the Castro. It was two nut flavors and one banana flavor. It’s like an ice cream penis but better.

27 April 10

"interlude"

On Monday I woke up and in the afternoon I wanted to have lunch. I wanted to have a burger at Lori’s Diner where they have a really good “patty melt”. But it was sunny and I wanted to eat something more healthy. I went to Union Square and sat in the outside restaurant and I ordered a Salad. I have had it before and it was always good. This time it wasn’t as good. They were supposed to put more “parmesan” on it. This is it:

I finished it and someone was watching me eat it. He was on the phone and wearing a pink shirt. He was alone. I went away and I was still hungry. I walked past a hot dog stand in front of Macy’s and I got a hot dog. I put onion in it and ketchup and mustard. I always eat them like this and I usually like it a lot. This is what my hot dog looked like after I ate from it:

It wasn’t very good, because the bun tasted like it was old. I didn’t enjoy it but I ate it because I was hungry. I think I would have needed more ketchup because it would have made the bun taste better. 

Then I went to the BART station where I was waiting for my friend Markus to come from the airport. I watched a musician play, then I went to Starbucks and I got a butter croissant and a caramel Frappuccino. This is my Frappuccino:

I really like the caramel Frappuccino, and I drink it in one go because it is so tasty. But it is really cold, and every time I drink it I grow cold. I was standing in the BART station being pretty cold. 

There is an invention I want to have: I want ice cream and Frappuccinos to be less cold without changing their consistency or taste. Or I want my mouth to be less sensitive. Every time I drink a Frappuccino, I get a cough afterwards. It goes away, but my throat gets too cold and acts weird. I never get brain-freeze. I always hear people talk about brain-freeze, but I don’t know what it is. What is it? Do you also like caramel Frappuccinos? 

23 April 10
Cheesecake is da best invention in da wurld!!!

Cheesecake is da best invention in da wurld!!!

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh