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About

Hi guyz,

I'm a cyber artist and this is my blog. You can look at my blog and see my drawings if you like art. If you are very romantic, you can look at my poems. If you want to know if you like something, you can read my reviews.

You can "ask" me something and I'll tell it to you.

http://tizia.tumblr.com/ask

You can see my FASHION BLOG here:

http://cool-fashion.tumblr.com/

Check out my new JOKE BLOG over there:

http://butt-jokes.tumblr.com/

You can hire me for some things like this:

hire me for these things maybe

You can see some of my art here:

ART here!!!

SO MUCH POETRY ON HERE, guyz. See all my POEMS there:

Poetry HERE!!!

EVERY poem and drawing and painting and photo and review and quote and idea and joke is by me, except if I say it's from someone.

It's my policy never to read my reviews.

Super Artwork
Super Artwork
a book about art
By Tizia Mutant Ninj...
Photo book
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15 February 13

america, usa

image

This is a drawing of my favorite things in America.

America is the greatest country in the world. Everyone can be anything they are. If you are black you can be a president or a rapper. If you are brown you can be into computers or Indian food. If you are white you can be tanned. If you are yellow you can get treatment for your hepatitis. If you are Asian you can look like a comic book. If you are a person you can have a gun. Nothing is a limit!!! Freedom and happiness is the most important thing ever, and everyone can have it because it’s the law.

In America, the food is the best in the world. Every food is cheese. You can eat a fish and it has cheese on it. You can eat an omelette and it has cheese on it. You can eat a vegetable and there is a lot of cheese on it, because cheese is the most delicious food on your food. If you want to eat anything and make it more delicious, eat it American, because it is fried. If you want to eat something, eat it in America, because it is bigger than a face. Eating is the most important thing in America, and it is the law. 

If you want to buy something, buy it in America. If you want to buy a toast, you can buy it in the shop where you buy your toothbrush and your socks, because the most important thing is to have everything. If you want to buy something, you buy it in every shop in America!!

In America, “no” is an opinion, not an option, because in America everything is possible, and if you want it, the most important thing is to have it!

America, it is the greatest country in the world, and that is the law!!!

Check out more reviews HERE!

25 July 12

review of a game

Last year in October I got an iPhone. The iPhone is the most important phone in history, except for the first phone and maybe the second and third and fourth phone until 100th phone or 1000th phone. It’s the best phone, because it can do a lot of things. One thing is that it can download lots of games.

When I got an iPhone I wanted to have a game too. I looked, and I found a game that was free and looked cool. It was the best game I ever had. This is a review of the game.

The game is called “Tiny Tower" and it’s not a game. It is a job. And your job is to build a tower for people so they can live and work there, and then build it even bigger so more people can live and work there. Then you have to get things for all your shops and your restaurants and your services and your creative offices.

If you are good, you can have many floors and a lot of money and happy people. If you are bad you are not playing it. I don’t know anyone that’s bad because everyone loves to play it.

I like “Tiny Tower” and the most important thing about it is that you can learn about the economy. Every floor that sells something has 3 things, and they are one cheap thing, one medium thing, and one expensive thing. And if you don’t know something, like how expensive it is to get your car fixed (like me), you can look at your car mechanic floor and see how much it is.

Maybe you need an oil change. That’s so expensive right? NO! It’s the cheapest thing you can buy on the mechanic floor and it only takes 60 minutes to get 900 of them, so imagine how short it is. 

Maybe you need a new tire. Tires are made of rubber like a rubber band for example. That’s so cheap, right? NO! Because the tire is the second thing on the mechanic floor, so it’s much more expensive than the oil change. And if you go to your mechanic and ask him what is more expensive, he will tell you it’s true.

If you are a man you already know that. But imagine you want to build a house. You don’t know how much that costs, only an architect knows. So you could go to the architect floor. There you can see three items. You can make a “Room Addition.” That’s cheap for an architect, but it’s expensive compared to an oil change because it’s something creative (creative is always more expensive than a service or a shop or a restaurant). But it’s cheap compared to a “House Design” (number 2) or a “Tower Design” (number 3). So now you can decide if you want a new house or maybe just another room. Or, if you are very rich, a tower.

You can use this method for everything you want to do. If you go to the dentist and he wants a lot of money for a cleaning but not a lot of money for a gold crown, you know something is weird because the dentist floor says the cleaning is the cheapest!

This way you can always know the economy but also have fun and make a lot of money and build a big tower. 

If you need to know what’s more expensive in a thing, you can ask me because I have all floors!

You can see more games and the company that makes the game here: http://nimblebit.com/

They have a good game it’s new and it’s called “Pocket Planes" and it’s about planes.

18 January 12

cheesecake factory - a review

My good friends Sophie and Jason who are in love got married four days ago, and because they had a wedding, their families came to watch. It was good, because it was my first wedding. If I would give it a review, I’d give it a good one.

Today was the last night that Jason and Sophie’s families were in town, so we had a plan to drink cocktails and watch Sophie and Jason schmoop. We wanted to go to a place, which was the TONGA ROOM! The Tonga Room is a big significant location because I wrote a review of it HERE and Sophie’s family is a big fan of my review and kept reviewing it to me! (good reviewing). There was a lot of hype about the Tonga Room and everyone was excited to have cocktails there. But then: the Tonga Room was closed! I wasn’t there because I had to meet my good friend Patrick first, but everyone went to the Tonga Room and it was closed! I was worried, because I thought maybe it was my fault because I gave them a bad review, but then Sophie said it was because Joe Biden, who is the Vice President, was having dinner in the Tonga Room. A vice is something like a bad habit, and I think Joe Biden has a bad habit for food, because if you’re really rich and important, you probably don’t go to the Tonga Room because it’s a little lame. 

The Tonga Room was closed so we had to go somewhere else, maybe also for dinner because everyone was hungry after the excitement of the closed Tonga Room (I think. I wasn’t there). Everyone was confused about where to go, and so the new plan was going to the Cheesecake Factory. If you are from England or Europe, like Sophie’s family Jessica and Sarie (like Harry or Hairy, but Sarie), the Cheesecake factory is cool. They have a lot of big food and salads and big cheesecakes. I remember that when I moved to the States the first time, I thought the Cheesecake factory was cool too because they had a lot of food and it was American. So the new plan was going to the Cheesecake Factory. 

Have you ever gone to the Cheesecake Factory? Because one thing about the Cheesecake Factory is that everyone is there, all the time. Everyone was at the Cheesecake Factory again, and when we got there (now I was there too), we had to wait for a long time. One of their cool inventions is a piece of plastic. You order a table, and when your table is ready, your plastic vibrates and flashes red. Then you can come back from where you’ve been and can get your table. It’s a really good invention that I love. You can walk around, and then just come back when your plastic vibrates. It’s a little naughty too. 

We waited a long time. Sophie was having a bad migrane and everyone was a little upset. I went outside on the balcony and someone took a photo of me with a flash! Then he ran away. I went inside and told everyone that someone “made a photo” of me, and then I noticed I said “made” instead of “took” and it was wrong, but I was too embarrassed to change it. No one said anything about it. Jessica was holding the plastic, and finally it started blinking! We got our table, it was for seven people. Before today, it would have been for twelve people because that’s how many people we were! But today we were seven and we got a table for all of us. 

The Cheesecake Factory is a big restaurant with a lot of food. They have more food than Cheesecake, so their name is misleading. We looked at the menu for a long time. Everyone was hungry and overwhelmed by the choices! There are about 70 things to eat. That’s good if you want to order 69 things, but if you want to order one thing, you need to rule out ordering 69 things first. That’s a lot of deciding, and if you’re bad with decisions, you are probably going to have a hard time.

I couldn’t decide what to order, so I made everyone else order first. This is a trick I learned from not deciding what to order, but it’s also a bad trick because if you’re the last person to order and you still don’t know what you want to eat, you are under a lot of pressure because sometimes the waiter says he will come back later, and no one gets their food because you’re thinking of what to order, and everyone hates you. But it’s also bad because sometimes you order something you think you want because you are under pressure and everyone is looking at you, but you don’t really want it, and then you just hate yourself for ordering the wrong thing because it turns out everyone else ordered exactly what you wanted!

I ordered a burger. A burger is something to eat when you just don’t know what to get and you don’t want to spend a lot of money. But at the Cheesecake Factory they have about 20 burgers! Each one is different. Everyone was looking at me and I had to order my food, so I looked at the first burgers I saw, and ordered one of them. It had onions which I like and a wheat bun, which is like a healthy bun, which is important if you eat a burger. I was excited, because on Monday we went walking in Golden Gate Park and then on a hike, and I had a burger for lunch, and it was a burger from “Jenny’s Burger" which is delicious, and everyone was jealous of my burger because they got Burritos next door.

The Cheesecake Factory has more than 70 things to order. Maybe 150 or more. Maybe 200. Because they also have an extra menu that’s called “Skinnylicious” and it’s a diet menu from “skinny” and “delicious”. It’s a funny name and maybe an oxymoron. Skinny basically always means not delicious. Jason’s mom had a Skinnylicious Chicken Salad, and it looked delicious.

Everyones food came, and then my burger came. I looked at it and I was sad. I’ve had a lot of burgers in America because burgers were invented here and are really delicious. But this burger looked like I got it in Europe in a public pool. Burgers in Europe aren’t famous because they don’t really exist. And food in a public pool is always a little worse looking than the same food in a normal place. But food at the pool is also always the most delicious kind, because you’re hot and hungry and wet, and the food is very oily and yummy. 

I looked at my burger, and was upset. Everyone had food that looked really nice and special, and my burger looked like a wheat baguette made from the same bread they serve you on your table for free! But then I ate it, and it was like a real pool burger - it tasted delicious! I ate my burger and loved it, and was happy I chose my burger!

The Cheesecake Factory is a funny place. It’s very big and American, and everything about it is delicious! It is a chain restaurant, so it is a little less special, but it’s a place with good food and big portions. If you don’t finish your food, you can take it home and finish it at home! In Europe you can’t do that because your portions are small and it’s rude. And if it’s not rude, it’s impossible because the restaurants don’t have a box for you to take your food home in. I didn’t take home my burger because I ate it all.

If you are from Europe, going to the Cheesecake factory is really good. If you are from America, going to the Cheesecake Factory is probably also very good, because everyone is there, always. 

21 October 11

review - happy hour in the tiki bar in the tonga room in the fairmont hotel in san francisco

Sophie, Jason and I had a very good idea which was eating a Hawaiian all-you-can-eat buffet at a tiki bar. Tiki bars are invented in America probably. They are a wooden style bars with wooden style mask and mainly they are basically exotic. Their style is tropical and Polynesian. Tiki bars are cool because they are magical. They are dark and a little bit like a beach or a rainforest. I have never been to a tiki bar because Austria doesn’t have them. But Sophie likes tiki bars a lot, so we decided to go to the famous tiki bar in Sophie’s old guide book. 

The tiki bar we went to was called “Tonga Room.” The Kingdom of Tonga is a state in the South Pacific Ocean. Tonga is not related to Toga, and suggesting that it is would be a very stupid thing to write in your review. But maybe it could be? It isn’t. But the words are nearly the same and I thought a Tonga is a Toga. 

The Tonga Room is in a very famous hotel in San Francisco that is called “The Fairmont.” You can tell that it is a luxury hotel because of its building. It’s very luxurious and beautiful. Usually a lot of flags on a building are always a sign of luxury or of a school. 

Because the Tonga Room is a tiki bar by a luxury hotel, it is very expensive. But on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday they have an “extensive” happy hour buffet. The buffet is all-you-can eat and it is only $9.50 (plus a minimum of one cocktail)! If you go for dinner, sometimes you pay $9.50 for just one dish, and then once you finish it’s done, you can’t ask for more (very rude). So paying $9.50 and getting more is an amazing good deal and that is why Sophie, Jason and I decided to go to the Tonga Room Tiki Bar!

We got to the Tonga Room. You enter it on California street although the hotel is on Mason street. If you want to go to the Tonga Room, go down along the hotel on California and enter the door close to the big sigh that says “Tonga.” It’s also the entrance to the gym (“Club One”). Even if Google Maps shows the restaurant next to the Mason entrance, it isn’t. It’s on California.

Next you have to ask for a table. They will offer you a table on one of the sides of the room, on a deck that looks like a ship, or in the middle of the room between a lot of people but close to the bar. If you aren’t sure which table you want, get the one on the ship because it’s better. If you want to be close to the bar, don’t, because you have a waitress that can get you anything from the bar.

The tables are made of wood and the chairs too, but they have pillows which are really soft. That is good if you plan to stay for a while. The room is very dark and tropical. There is a candle on every table and light-lantern style strings. They are nice because they give a nice mood. There is a ship’s wheel and straw hut roofs, and in the middle of the room is a giant pool, but a dark one and it’s not for swimming just for mood. 

The special thing about the Tonga Room is that they have storms. Every 30 minutes maybe, they have a storm with rain and thunder and lightning, but it’s a trick storm because it’s indoors and storms aren’t indoors except for Donald Duck when he is unlucky. The thunder is just a soundtrack, and the lightning is just flashes of light bulbs. The rain is kind of real because it’s water that comes down, but they made it themselves with sprinklers maybe. It’s a mood thing, and it works. It lasts very short, but the room feels wetter because of the rain. 

It is important that you order a cocktail. You have to, because that’s the rule of the buffet. They have a selection, and every cocktail is $7.50 because it is happy hour. Normally the cocktails are more expensive. They have a selection, and one yummy cocktail I had was the Tonga Itch. It sounds nasty because itches are STDs sometimes. This is a cocktail and it is delicious. You can see all the cocktails they have HERE.

In the middle of the room is something that could be a dance floor, and there you will find the buffet. When we saw the buffet we were very surprised. It was on a table that was not very long. This is what they had:

- Chicken wings in a sweet chili sauce
- Macaroni salad
- Spicy edamame
- Fried rice with ham
- A mix of cantaloupe, honeydew and pineapple, but mostly it was honeydew
- Asian style noodles with vegetable style stuff
- Mini spring rolls with a sauce
- More chicken wings in hot sauce 

I didn’t miss anything. This was their buffet. I was very disappointed and sad.

This is a photo of the fruit and some chicken wings and some edamame.

- The chicken wings in the sweet chili sauce were tasty, because chicken wings and sweet chili sauce are yummy and everyone likes them. I had lots of chicken wings, and one of them had the most meat on it I have ever eaten from a chicken wing! That was nice but could also mean the chicken was bionic.

- The macaroni salad was very horrible. I dont like macaroni salad because I don’t like mayo, but sometimes you eat something you don’t like and it’s okay. This macaroni salad was very disgusting. 

- The edamame were okay. They had very good intentions because of the spicy stuff, but they didn’t taste very fresh and it’s edamame - it’s not a real food you cook!

- The fried rice was very normal. It was fried rice, and if you don’t like meat it sucks because it had bits of ham in it. I like fried rice, but it usually fried rice has stuff in it except for ham. Like pineapple. It didn’t. It was boring.

- The fruit was very horrible, too. It wasn’t fresh fruit and it tasted like they got it from a can. Pineapple is always yummy, even from the can, but they didn’t have much pineapple, mostly honeydew that was disgusting. I used some pineapple and ate it with my fried rice so it would be less boring. 

- The noodles were very oily and boring. They are the noodles you get at a Chinese buffet when you pay $4. I ate them and they were whatever. 

- The spring rolls were okay. They had a sauce which was good because they were the kind of spring rolls that are dry. They tasted like spring rolls that you get and you eat but don’t comment on because they are normal; not delicious or disgusting. You just eat them and talk to your friends. 

- I didn’t taste the other chicken wings. But they are chicken wings and hot sauce, and everyone loves chicken wings and hot sauce.

It was very disappointing and sad, and I had 4 servings because I was hungry and I wanted to eat more so it would feel less expensive to pay for a Chinese dinner at a tiki bar. 

In conclusion, the tiki bar in the Tonga Room was nice, but the food was sad. But if you go to the Tonga Room and read this review first, you will feel less bad about it, because you will go for the experience and not for the food. And the experience was nice, and the cocktails were nice, and if you aren’t facing the people coming in and out of the gym next door, you can see a nice room with pretty lights and have a good time. 

Here are some tips:

You can have the happy hour all-you-can-eat buffet from Wednesday to Friday between 5 PM and 7 PM. I think I would suggest to go at 5 PM and then eat a lot, then wait and get more food before they take away the buffet at 7 PM. The waitress was nice, because I’m always shy to get a lot of food from all-you-can-eat buffets because the waiters are always mean when you take all you can eat, but our waitress told us to get more plates with lots of food before the buffet closes. 

Another good tip is that when you eat, eat two plates, then wait. Sometimes you eat and your stomach is full, but it takes your stomach 15 or 20 minutes to tell your brain it is full! It’s true! If you don’t know that, you keep eating and then when you notice how full you are, you already ate too much and feel very sick.

More details are HERE.

7 August 11

airplane review - virgin atlantic

Virgin is a brand, it was invented by Richard Branson who is from Great Britain. He is famous for being blonde plus he is a “Sir”. When I was a kid there was a Virgin Megastore in my hometown, so I knew Virgin. Virgin Megastore was the coolest store in the whole city, because it was so big and had so much music and movies, so it was instantly cool. 

Later there were Virgin Airlines, and I knew about it, but I never flew in it until I moved to the States. In the States, Virgin America is a really popular and cool airline. They have TVs in all airplanes and a purple light and sometimes they have a funny quiz and you can win alcohol. They also have Wifi on board, and for a long time it was for free because they just invented it. Also, Virgin America is cheap!

When I wanted to fly back home (story HERE), I saw there was a cheap flight from Virgin Atlantic, which is cool because it was Virgin and Virgin is cool because Virgin America is amazing! This is my review of my flights with Virgin Atlantic. 

The plane I got on was very big and modern, it had like two floors, and every seat had a TV (also in economy!). I had the best seat, I was so lucky. I sat in it. 

The first thing about Virgin Atlantic that is different from Virgin America is the safety video. Virgin America has a safety video that is “funny” and cool, and whenever I watch it, the voice talking reminds me of Richard Branson. Cool! You can see it on youtube HERE.

But Virgin Atlantic has a really ugly and dumb safety video. It looks like it was made on goanimate.com, minus 15 years of technology. You can watch the video on youtube HERE. I was very angry about this video. I hate it!

The next thing that was weird was that they said that they would be serving alcohol, but that you need to remember to drink in moderation because you are flying, and imagine drinking a lot when you fly. They just said that! What if you are an alcoholic and you’re flying Virgin Atlantic. Maybe you would feel very bad about yourself. 

Then they did something else weird! They said that during take-off, you aren’t allowed to wear your blankets on your lap. Imagine flying and not wearing your blankets!!! It’s so cold when you fly, it’s like the coldest thing in the world! I hate the rule, it’s dumb, and I kept my blanket on my lap, but then the flight attendants came and told everyone in person to put the blankets off your lap! They said you can put it on your shoulders or on the floor. Imagine you have your blankets on the floor and then there is an emergency and you trip over a million blankets because they are all on the floor! 

Every airline always tells you to close your seatbelt above the blanket, so they don’t need to wake you up when the seat belt signs go on. But no one ever does it, and no one is ever woken up. Because putting on your seat belt above the blanket is super impractical and stupid. But at Virgin Atlantic they really do wake you up and tell you to put on your seat belt over your blanket. That’s really dumb if you are asleep! 

Then they served dinner, and I think my dinner was something with a meat thingy and vegetables. The meat thingy was the most disgusting thing I ever ate, and I nearly threw up, for real! 

But they had a lot of movies to chose from, and I watched a lot.

On my flight back I chose a seat on the top deck. They have a few seats of economy there, and then some first class seats in the front. The seat I got was in the second row, but the window seats are cool too because they have a part next to them that’s like a shelf (between the chair and the window wall). That’s cool for your handbag or your stuff (except if it rolls back or the person behind you steals it). I liked to sit on the top deck because there are less people and you get food and drinks much faster. There are also less people that go to the bathroom. Also, when you go down, you arrive at a bar thing, and it’s for the business class people, but because you are from upstairs they can’t tell if you are economy or first class, so you can eat their chips and drink their water (maybe also beer?). But you need to pretend you don’t know that it’s for business class only, so you need to be very casual. 

The top floor is also cool because heat rises so it’s less cool and more warm. I only used one blanket and sometimes I put it off!

Then there was food again, and it was better but it was still kind of shit. And when you’re on an airplane you want to eat all the time because there is nothing else to do and you’re hungry a lot. They gave out a lot of snacks, and that was good because usually when I’m on an airplane they make you sleep and don’t bring snacks and I am starving. 

Then the best thing happened. They gave out ice cream! It was so yummy and amazing and cold. Cool! 

Virgin Atlantic had 71 movies to watch on the flight, plus TV shows and documentaries. Cool!

My review is: Virgin Atlantic is not like Virgin America and it feels like it’s not even part of the same group! But it’s cool because you get some extra stuff like snacks and ice cream and lots of movies, but also dumb because they care more about the stupid rules. I think I am going to fly with them again someday. 

In airlines, they get 7 points out of 10! More if they have better dinner.

I drew this airplane but it was ugly.

28 April 11
This is a drawing of a movie still from the movie “Julien Donkey-Boy" which is a movie by Harmony Korine.
The movie is about the boy Julien who is schizophrenic and his sister and his brother and his father and stuff that happens. In this drawing I drew Julien with his sister who is actually the famous actress Chloë Sevigny. It is a scene where Julien and his brother want to wrestle, and his sister and his Dad (who is Werner Herzog) are watching, but Julien is being bit naughty and playful and hiding behind his sister.
It is a good movie that I recommend people to look at. You can get it on Netflix. It’s good.

This is a drawing of a movie still from the movie “Julien Donkey-Boy" which is a movie by Harmony Korine.

The movie is about the boy Julien who is schizophrenic and his sister and his brother and his father and stuff that happens. In this drawing I drew Julien with his sister who is actually the famous actress Chloë Sevigny. It is a scene where Julien and his brother want to wrestle, and his sister and his Dad (who is Werner Herzog) are watching, but Julien is being bit naughty and playful and hiding behind his sister.

It is a good movie that I recommend people to look at. You can get it on Netflix. It’s good.

20 April 11
Most people in the world know the song “Yummy, yummy, yummy, I’ve got love in my tummy.” It’s a song by a band that is called “Ohio Express.” It’s an ironic song because you can’t have love in your tummy, because have you ever tried to eat love? It’s not something you can eat because it’s a feeling. I imagined that maybe you have “love in your tummy” when you eat something really nice, because something nice is something you love. I love a lot of food, so I probably had love in my stomach a lot. 
Yesterday I went to Trader Joe’s, which is a good grocery store that is cheap or expensive and organic. I bought a lot of things and then I went to pay for them, and at the paying station there was a big stand that had chocolates on them (grocery stores always put yummy stuff like chocolates next to the cashier so people buy it. Or gum, because it reminds people that they have bad breath). I saw the chocolates, and I decided to buy a package.
When I got home, I ate some of the chocolate. Then, it was actually the best chocolate I have ever had in my life!!! It’s a lot of nuts, and they are covered in dark chocolate. It was so delicious that I ate more and more. Then I saved some and the next day I ate more, and then I saved some and in the evening I ate the whole pack!!!
It was such a good chocolate that later I felt like I had love in my tummy. 
Of chocolate with nuts, my rating for Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Nutty Bits is 100 of 100 points!!!

Most people in the world know the song “Yummy, yummy, yummy, I’ve got love in my tummy.” It’s a song by a band that is called “Ohio Express.” It’s an ironic song because you can’t have love in your tummy, because have you ever tried to eat love? It’s not something you can eat because it’s a feeling. I imagined that maybe you have “love in your tummy” when you eat something really nice, because something nice is something you love. I love a lot of food, so I probably had love in my stomach a lot. 

Yesterday I went to Trader Joe’s, which is a good grocery store that is cheap or expensive and organic. I bought a lot of things and then I went to pay for them, and at the paying station there was a big stand that had chocolates on them (grocery stores always put yummy stuff like chocolates next to the cashier so people buy it. Or gum, because it reminds people that they have bad breath). I saw the chocolates, and I decided to buy a package.

When I got home, I ate some of the chocolate. Then, it was actually the best chocolate I have ever had in my life!!! It’s a lot of nuts, and they are covered in dark chocolate. It was so delicious that I ate more and more. Then I saved some and the next day I ate more, and then I saved some and in the evening I ate the whole pack!!!

It was such a good chocolate that later I felt like I had love in my tummy. 

Of chocolate with nuts, my rating for Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Nutty Bits is 100 of 100 points!!!

30 March 11
Restaurant Review: BUBBA GUMP
It was Spring Break in America, which is a famous holiday where a lot of girls get naked and everyone gets really drunk and pregnant. But everyone can have spring break, even without doing any of that, because it’s a school holiday during spring. 
For my spring break I went to LA to visit my friend Chris. Chris is one of my best friends!! He was so excited for me to visit, and I was too because I didn’t visit him in so long! 
On Friday we went to Santa Monica beach. I like Santa Monica beach, but it was so cold on Friday. We were lying on a blanket and were really cold, but in the sun, if you were really flat on the ground, it was okay. We watched a little girl who had a kite. When you are a kid, you can make so many jokes. Everything that it the truth is basically a joke. The little girl had a kite with a frog on it, and the frog was on a tree. The name of the kite was “Tree Frog.” The girl was with her dad and she made a joke saying that the name of the frog was “tree frog” because it was a tree and a frog. It is so funny because it is true, right? 
I got hungry so I went to the pier. On the pier are a lot of restaurants. One of the restaurants was Bubba Gump! Bubba Gump is a famous restaurant chain because it is from the movie “Forrest Gump” which is a famous movie. 
Bubba Gump is a restaurant with a shrimp theme. The theme is a shrimp because Bubba, Forrest Gump’s friend, he wanted to make a shrimp restaurant because his mom made shrimp, and the mom of his mom made shrimp, and the mom of his mom’s mom made shrimp. So the restaurant is about shrimp.
They had a TV, and the TV played Forrest Gump on loop. They also had a TV with sports. 
I ordered a Mahi-Mahi fish with vegetables and rice to go, so I could eat it at the beach. It was really expensive, but fish is always very expensive. Then I ate it, and it was okay. I didn’t have very many vegetables, only a few onions and carrots and asparagus. 
Final review: I like Bubba Gump, but his Mahi-Mahi is not the best one. But it’s not bad. It’s okay. Go there if you want to eat shrimp. Maybe. Because I haven’t tried their shrimp. Try their shrimp, then, if it’s good, it’s a good restaurant. For shrimp.

Restaurant Review: BUBBA GUMP

It was Spring Break in America, which is a famous holiday where a lot of girls get naked and everyone gets really drunk and pregnant. But everyone can have spring break, even without doing any of that, because it’s a school holiday during spring. 

For my spring break I went to LA to visit my friend Chris. Chris is one of my best friends!! He was so excited for me to visit, and I was too because I didn’t visit him in so long! 

On Friday we went to Santa Monica beach. I like Santa Monica beach, but it was so cold on Friday. We were lying on a blanket and were really cold, but in the sun, if you were really flat on the ground, it was okay. We watched a little girl who had a kite. When you are a kid, you can make so many jokes. Everything that it the truth is basically a joke. The little girl had a kite with a frog on it, and the frog was on a tree. The name of the kite was “Tree Frog.” The girl was with her dad and she made a joke saying that the name of the frog was “tree frog” because it was a tree and a frog. It is so funny because it is true, right? 

I got hungry so I went to the pier. On the pier are a lot of restaurants. One of the restaurants was Bubba Gump! Bubba Gump is a famous restaurant chain because it is from the movie “Forrest Gump” which is a famous movie. 

Bubba Gump is a restaurant with a shrimp theme. The theme is a shrimp because Bubba, Forrest Gump’s friend, he wanted to make a shrimp restaurant because his mom made shrimp, and the mom of his mom made shrimp, and the mom of his mom’s mom made shrimp. So the restaurant is about shrimp.

They had a TV, and the TV played Forrest Gump on loop. They also had a TV with sports. 

I ordered a Mahi-Mahi fish with vegetables and rice to go, so I could eat it at the beach. It was really expensive, but fish is always very expensive. Then I ate it, and it was okay. I didn’t have very many vegetables, only a few onions and carrots and asparagus. 

Final review: I like Bubba Gump, but his Mahi-Mahi is not the best one. But it’s not bad. It’s okay. Go there if you want to eat shrimp. Maybe. Because I haven’t tried their shrimp. Try their shrimp, then, if it’s good, it’s a good restaurant. For shrimp.

25 July 10
Movie Review: the movie is called “Gummo”
The movie is made by Harmony Korine from America. He was most famous for when he wrote the movie called “Kids" which was a good movie about teenagers in America (it has some topics that are really intense so you shouldn’t watch it with actual kids).
Gummo is about a town in Ohio. They had a big tornado and now everyone is having a bad time because a lot of people died and some heads were cut off. Then the story is about teenagers who live in the town. One of them always wears bunny ears and walks around without a tshirt. He is the most handsome one. Then there are two boys who kill cats. One is older and one is younger (he is in my portrait above!!!). There are also two girls and one small girl. There is one scene where Harmony, the director, plays a homosexual next to a small person. It’s a good scene and he is very handsome in it.
Basically, many things happen to all those people. Sometimes it is a bit confusing because it is kind of an “experimental” film, so sometimes we don’t know where we are and how some plot points are linked, but if you are good with movies you will still understand it. 
It is a good movie. I recommend you to watch it because it is an important movie in the film history. It won a lot of prizes and a lot of criticism, and many of the actors aren’t really actors at all, just kids (some played in Kids too). 
Also, if you like Harmony, you should watch the documentary “Beautiful Losers”. It’s on Netflix instant HERE.

Movie Review: the movie is called “Gummo

The movie is made by Harmony Korine from America. He was most famous for when he wrote the movie called “Kids" which was a good movie about teenagers in America (it has some topics that are really intense so you shouldn’t watch it with actual kids).

Gummo is about a town in Ohio. They had a big tornado and now everyone is having a bad time because a lot of people died and some heads were cut off. Then the story is about teenagers who live in the town. One of them always wears bunny ears and walks around without a tshirt. He is the most handsome one. Then there are two boys who kill cats. One is older and one is younger (he is in my portrait above!!!). There are also two girls and one small girl. There is one scene where Harmony, the director, plays a homosexual next to a small person. It’s a good scene and he is very handsome in it.

Basically, many things happen to all those people. Sometimes it is a bit confusing because it is kind of an “experimental” film, so sometimes we don’t know where we are and how some plot points are linked, but if you are good with movies you will still understand it. 

It is a good movie. I recommend you to watch it because it is an important movie in the film history. It won a lot of prizes and a lot of criticism, and many of the actors aren’t really actors at all, just kids (some played in Kids too). 

Also, if you like Harmony, you should watch the documentary “Beautiful Losers”. It’s on Netflix instant HERE.

22 July 10

location review - alcatraz

Last year I went to Alcatraz once. It’s a big island with an old prison on it. Once it was a real prison, but now it is like a museum (it is in the waters of San Francisco). It was such a nice place with a lot of rooms. It was so interesting and good. I went there for the first time in my life, but: I knew the place really well, like I had been there before (like I was a prisoner there once, for example). But basically, you can’t have old lives, becuz you can only live one time. But then I found out why I knew it so well: it was a location in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4! It’s a game I had on playstation, and it is a skating game (Tony Hawk is a famous skateboarder). I liked the game a lot, and I played it all the time, I was really good at it. The level in Alcatraz was like Alcatraz, everything was the same!!!! Even the little car that drove up the hill with tourists was there, and the old building that was broken down. 

If you go to Alcatraz, you should play the game first becuz you will get to know the island better (in the game you can go to places where you are not allowed to go in reality!!!). Then you have to call the people from the Alcatraz boat company first, and reserve a place. They are always booked out, so you need to do that. Sometimes they are booked out really long before, like a week or something!!! But this is really important: there is only one company that can book the trip, becuz only they can go to Alcatraz. But so many people will come up to you and offer you an “Alcatraz Tour”, but they actually don’t take you on the island, just around it (they are not allowed to go on the island!!!!!). So if you call the real tour (HERE), you can make a tour. You can make an evening tour and then you can see the sunset which is nice!

The tour is about three hours and really interesting (you can listen to stuff people say on your listening tool). It has a lot of back story, like people who tried to run away (but it’s an island so they couldn’t!!!!) and Indians who took the island. It is really windy there so you need to dress warm. 

I recommend you to go because it is nice to look at, and many people never go to prison, so you can basically see what it would be like to go to prison. Maybe if you see it you will try to avoid doing stuff to go to prison. Here are some photos:

This is what the rooms of the prisoners looked like. It’s really uncomfortable and they didn’t have privacy when they wanted to go to the toilet. The people in the cell across would see him go to the toilet.

Those are some prison cells. They had so many so they could have a lot of prisoners at the same time (everyone had their own room).

This was their courtyard where they could walk around and play sports. Every prison has a courtyard and a lot of prison movies play in the courtyard of a prison, because it’s like where the prisoners get social (because it’s the only place where they are all together). It’s the most important thing in prison movies because otherwise the movies would just be people alone in their cell all the time, and they couldn’t really talk or plan to escape.

Basically the prisoners couldn’t go out becuz they were locked in their rooms. But they could sometimes have people visiting, but because many of the prisoners were dangerous, they had to keep a thick glass between them and the visitors. This is a photo of what it would have looked like if the prisoner had a visitor. 

(Actually I don’t know if it was for visitors, but it was a thick glass and I’ve seen it in prison movies, so I invented that)

They have a big American Flag on the island so people remember they are in the country of a lot of freedom. Behind the flag is a nice view of San Francisco. This was the “evening tour”, so this photo is shortly before sundown. 

20 July 10
I watched a movie and this is the review. The movie is called what I illustrated it and it is by a German filmmaker named “Wim Wenders”. He made a lot of movies and one of his most famous ones is about two angels on earth. It’s called “Wings Of Desire" and is about two angels in Berlin (in German it is called "The Sky Above Berlin"). They walk around for over two hours and listen to peoples thoughts. Then the main angel always talks about how things were different "When the child was child", which is really stupid, becuz when the child was child he was a child. So it’s like saying "When the dog was dog" or "When the monkey was a monkey", right? But I think he was using it as a metaphor. I watched the movie because I always heard a lot about it. Then one time it left an impression on me when a Jewish man who looked like Adrien Brody had a poster of the movie on his wall and said it was his favorite movie in the whole wurld!!!! So I knew it had to be a good movie. And also because Peter Falk is in it, and he is Columbo, and I have a major crush on him. But it was actually the most stupid and boring movie I ever saw. So basically, when I watched this movie today, I was expecting it to maybe be stupid too, although I heard lots of good things about it too.
But then I watched it, and I liked it. This is what it is about:
The movie is about a man, and basically we don’t know who he is, he was just walking through the desert and being really thirsty, and then he faints and a doctor takes him. The doctor calls another guy, and the guy is really surprised and says he will go pick up the guy. It turns out it’s his brother, and they haven’t seen each other in four years. We basically never find out what happened in those four years. Also, then we find out that the brother in the desert (the desert is actually Texas) has a son, and the son is living with his brother (the guy who picks him up) and sister-in-law (she has a french accent, it is so annoying!!!).
Then the movie goes on about stuff that happens. I can’t tell it because it would be a “spoiler”. 
The movie is 2 hours and 25 minutes long!!! That is a very long time for a movie. Most movies that are so long get really annoying. Sometimes I get too bored to watch it all. But in this movie (“Paris, Texas”) it didn’t annoy me for being so long. I liked it because it was interesting to see what happens. I like the characters, they are sweet. I also like the cinematography, because it is pretty. At the beginning I felt like the main character (the brother in Texas) was like Rain Man, because he seems a bit neurotic, but only for a little bit. But this movie was made in 1984, which is four years before Rain Man, so probably Rain Man was inspired by that part where the brother is so neurotic. It’s weird, because he is only neurotic about 3 things, and later he is normal again. Maybe he was confused. 
I liked the movie and I recommend to watch it. You can watch it online on Netflix instant.
PS: the movie is by a German person but it is in English. Only the names of the crew of the movie are really, really German.
PPS: It is not about Paris in France at all. So it’s not like “Paris, Texas” as in a listing of places (like “Union Square, Fisherman’s Wharf”) but saying: the place called Paris in Texas (like “San Francisco, California” or “Vienna, Austria”). But basically that place isn’t really very important. They never go there. It’s more like an emotional thing. 

I watched a movie and this is the review. The movie is called what I illustrated it and it is by a German filmmaker named “Wim Wenders”. He made a lot of movies and one of his most famous ones is about two angels on earth. It’s called “Wings Of Desire" and is about two angels in Berlin (in German it is called "The Sky Above Berlin"). They walk around for over two hours and listen to peoples thoughts. Then the main angel always talks about how things were different "When the child was child", which is really stupid, becuz when the child was child he was a child. So it’s like saying "When the dog was dog" or "When the monkey was a monkey", right? But I think he was using it as a metaphor. I watched the movie because I always heard a lot about it. Then one time it left an impression on me when a Jewish man who looked like Adrien Brody had a poster of the movie on his wall and said it was his favorite movie in the whole wurld!!!! So I knew it had to be a good movie. And also because Peter Falk is in it, and he is Columbo, and I have a major crush on him. But it was actually the most stupid and boring movie I ever saw. So basically, when I watched this movie today, I was expecting it to maybe be stupid too, although I heard lots of good things about it too.

But then I watched it, and I liked it. This is what it is about:

The movie is about a man, and basically we don’t know who he is, he was just walking through the desert and being really thirsty, and then he faints and a doctor takes him. The doctor calls another guy, and the guy is really surprised and says he will go pick up the guy. It turns out it’s his brother, and they haven’t seen each other in four years. We basically never find out what happened in those four years. Also, then we find out that the brother in the desert (the desert is actually Texas) has a son, and the son is living with his brother (the guy who picks him up) and sister-in-law (she has a french accent, it is so annoying!!!).

Then the movie goes on about stuff that happens. I can’t tell it because it would be a “spoiler”. 

The movie is 2 hours and 25 minutes long!!! That is a very long time for a movie. Most movies that are so long get really annoying. Sometimes I get too bored to watch it all. But in this movie (“Paris, Texas”) it didn’t annoy me for being so long. I liked it because it was interesting to see what happens. I like the characters, they are sweet. I also like the cinematography, because it is pretty. At the beginning I felt like the main character (the brother in Texas) was like Rain Man, because he seems a bit neurotic, but only for a little bit. But this movie was made in 1984, which is four years before Rain Man, so probably Rain Man was inspired by that part where the brother is so neurotic. It’s weird, because he is only neurotic about 3 things, and later he is normal again. Maybe he was confused. 

I liked the movie and I recommend to watch it. You can watch it online on Netflix instant.

PS: the movie is by a German person but it is in English. Only the names of the crew of the movie are really, really German.

PPS: It is not about Paris in France at all. So it’s not like “Paris, Texas” as in a listing of places (like “Union Square, Fisherman’s Wharf”) but saying: the place called Paris in Texas (like “San Francisco, California” or “Vienna, Austria”). But basically that place isn’t really very important. They never go there. It’s more like an emotional thing. 

14 July 10
Review of Alamo/National car rental (location: Geary and Jones, San Francisco):

Their service is really slow and bad but they have good crackers with cheese.

Review of Alamo/National car rental (location: Geary and Jones, San Francisco):

Their service is really slow and bad but they have good crackers with cheese.

2 July 10

restaurant review - piraat pizzeria

There is a pizzeria that is close to my home, called “Piraat Pizzeria”. One time I ordered a large pizza from there and it was really large (because in America, everything that is large is larger) and not very good. I always thought that maybe the place is Dutch or Belgian, because it has two “a” in “pirat”, but there is nothing Dutch or Belgian about the place.

Sometimes I would walk past it and have a slice of pepperoni (salami) pizza. I never liked it. Today my friend and I had class, and we had another class soon, but we still had to take the bus there, so we wanted to eat. We went inside because we wanted to eat pizza (because we are both from Europe and think Subway is stupid). 

We got a pizza with salami (pepperoni) and feta cheese. That is usually a really good combination. We wanted to share it and eat it on the bus on our way to class. We got it and we ate it on the bus. It really didn’t taste good. It was borderline inedible and very disgusting. 

If you want to eat a pizza, don’t go there, because their pizza’s are so bad.

30 June 10

how to classify your surroundings

Sometimes you are in a place, and you know it’s not very special from how it looks like, or because the people who should be nice to you aren’t really nice, or because it smells bad. It is really easy to know when the place you are at (maybe a restaurant or a bar or a hotel) is really not nice. 

But how do you know if you are in a nice place? That is harder to know sometimes. So these are some tips on how to classify how nice the place is that you are at inside of the United States:

1) You are in a restaurant. It looks nice, but you are sitting outside. This is already a good sign. You can’t sit outside in a lot of restaurants. But it is hard to know if this place is really good, because you don’t know what it looks like inside (outside is nature, so it’s always nice). This is a trick: when the waiter comes, order the fish or the sandwich. In America, all fish or sandwiches come with a choice of french fries or a salad or coleslaw or something. This is how you will know if this is a good quality restaurant: order the dish, but don’t tell your waiter what side you want. If he asks you, then it’s a good restaurant, but if he doesn’t ask and just brings french fries, you can probably know that it is not a very good restaurant. This rule works always, try it!

2) If you say you want french fries, and they bring them, this is also how to know if it is a good restaurant: if you are at a good restaurant, the fries have green things on it and they are on a sheet where the oil drips onto (so it is less oily). 

3) If you go to a bathroom in a restaurant or a place, you can easily know if it is a good place. If you are in a restaurant or venue that is not so good, the sink will have only cold water, and if you turn it on, it turns itself off really quickly. But if you are at a good place, you can turn your water on and off yourself, and there will be warm water.

You can try these rules anywhere in the United States. It always works!

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh