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Hi guyz,

I'm a cyber artist and this is my blog. You can look at my blog and see my drawings if you like art. If you are very romantic, you can look at my poems. If you want to know if you like something, you can read my reviews.

You can "ask" me something and I'll tell it to you.

http://tizia.tumblr.com/ask

You can see my FASHION BLOG here:

http://cool-fashion.tumblr.com/

Check out my new JOKE BLOG over there:

http://butt-jokes.tumblr.com/

You can hire me for some things like this:

hire me for these things maybe

You can see some of my art here:

ART here!!!

SO MUCH POETRY ON HERE, guyz. See all my POEMS there:

Poetry HERE!!!

EVERY poem and drawing and painting and photo and review and quote and idea and joke is by me, except if I say it's from someone.

It's my policy never to read my reviews.

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20 November 12

Anonymous said: Why is London so shit, and why am I here instead of in San Francisco?

Hi,

Your question is very interesting and unscientific, thank you for sharing it with me.

London is famous. Maybe it is one of the five or ten most famous places in the world. If you talk about London to someone, no one will ask you what animals live there because everyone knows that London is the famous country with the Queen. It has cool things like a clock, a wheel, music, shops and everything. It’s not shit, because it’s great. 

Your question is interesting because you say something about San Francisco. I know San Francisco very well because I lived there. Did you ever live there? Sometimes people are sad because they can not live where they want to live, but it’s because maybe they have a job that isn’t there, or maybe they have a home that is somewhere else. Sometimes it’s hard to leave your home and go somewhere else because you are not allowed to do it. There are so many reasons why people can not go somewhere, but these are mostly all of them. It is so hard, and people get very sad about it. 

My advice is that you think about your favorite thing at the place you want to go to, and then you think about why it is stupid to be your favorite thing. Maybe if you live in San Francisco, your favorite thing in London is to go on the wheel. That is the most stupid thing to like! And the reason is: you have to wait so long to go on it! The second reason is: it is the worst thing if you fall! So now if you want to go to London because you want to go on the wheel, now you hate it!

My second advice is to think about something where you are, that you hate. Like maybe you hate the wheel in London because you have to stand in line for so long and you can fall. Well, that is the most stupid reason to hate it! And this is the reason: it’s a wheel, and it’s the best invention by humans. Imagine no one invented the wheel! Everyone says it’s the most important thing. Oh, it’s okay if the wheel isn’t invented because cars are so bad for nature, right? But then imagine there is no letter O! The second good reason is: you can have a nice view from the top! It’s the nicest view maybe, and it would make you happy. There are more reasons, but these are mostly all of them.

So now you know a reason to hate something you love and love something you hate. Now if you use the advice you can think of so many reasons to think that San Francisco is shit and London is really good. You can use it on anything, like on a city or a film or a person. You can write it down so you can remember it, and you can put it somewhere you can see it a lot, like maybe on your door. If you see it a lot, you can remember it too. 

I hope you feel better. 

2 May 11

me and mr. jackson

Samuel L Jackson is a very famous actor, and everyone knows how he looks like because he wears a Kangol hat and he is black. 

Today I was at my gym. Then I finished, and I went to talk to the people of my gym at the front desk about something. Then Samuel L Jackson came into my gym! Of course I immediately recognized him from an earlier encounter in Mendocino and my intense character study of him during “Celebrity Blind Date.” And also because of his signature hat.

In Mendocino, which is a city on the coast of Northern California, my friends Sophie, Jason, Carolyn, Heinz and I were walking. We walked and we were very hungry, or we were very full because we just ate mussels. One of them. Then we walked, and I saw Samuel L Jackson! He was standing on the street with his dog. His dog is a blonde “Labrador Retriever,” which is a famous dog everywhere. I knew it was Samuel L Jackson, because Samuel L Jackson is famous for wearing a black hat from Kangol all the time! I told my friend Jason that I just saw Samuel L Jackson (because the others were walking really fast, maybe we all had to pee). He looked at Samuel L Jackson (by now we were far away) and he said “That’s not Samuel L Jackson.” No one believed me that I just saw Samuel L Jackson.

Later that day, we had dinner and played the game “Celebrity Blind Date” which was a game Sophie invented. In the game, someone has to think of a celebrity, and then the others have to think of a celebrity too, but of the opposite gender, and then you need to pretend to be the celebrity and answer the questions the first celebrity asks so the celebrity can decide which celebrity to date. My celebrity was Samuel L Jackson. Actually I don’t know a lot about Samuel L Jackson except that he is a man and he is black and he wears a Kangol beret all the time. But because my celebrity was Samuel L jackson, it was like a character study. His answer to most questions was very manly and about a hat.

Kangol is a company that is famous for its hats and has a kangaroo as a logo. It is mainly famous because Samuel L Jackson wears a hat from the company. So when I saw the man in Mendocino wearing the Kangol hat, I knew it was Samuel L Jackson because Samuel L Jackson is maybe the only person in the world that wears Kangol berets aside from any black person who wants to look like Samuel L Jackson.

So I was standing in the gym, and Samuel L Jackson came inside. I was surprised to see Samuel L Jackson again after our brief encounter in Mendocino. But I was very busy waiting for my paper work from the guy at the counter, so I didn’t say Hi to him. Then the woman in the counter noticed that Samuel L Jackson was waiting for someone to check him in, and it’s really impolite to make people wait if they are famous, so she turned to him and told him “Jackson, right? I got you!” and then she gestured him to go inside and start his work out. 

Samuel L Jackson is nice, but he is not in his target weight range. I think he is a little chubby, so he has to go to the gym. Maybe it is because he ate a lot of mussels in Mendocino. With some dedication in his work outs, Samuel L Jackson will be less chubby.

1 April 11
I had a job from my friend Nick who is in a band. Their band name is “Music For Animals" and they are a band in San Francisco. He asked me to draw his band, because he likes my art. This is the drawing of his band. I was sad because it’s not a very good drawing, but he liked it and then he made it his profile photo!!! 

I had a job from my friend Nick who is in a band. Their band name is “Music For Animals" and they are a band in San Francisco. He asked me to draw his band, because he likes my art. This is the drawing of his band. I was sad because it’s not a very good drawing, but he liked it and then he made it his profile photo!!! 

16 October 10

attention: new poem!

Last night I went to a nice bar with my friend who is also from Austria. The place was called “Starlight Room”. It’s really romantic and a lot of people came with their boyfriends and girlfriends, so it was nice, because everyone was in love. It has a really nice view and really expensive drinks. And they have a band. The band was playing 80s songs, a lot of people danced. Then my friend’s friends came and all drank a drink called “Cable Car”. It’s good because it has cinnamon on the glass rim. Then we went to the dance floor because it has such a nice view of San Francisco. I took a photo of it but it’s not so nice because my Blackberry doesn’t take nice photos. Soon I will get an iphone when Verizon gets the new iphones, I am so excited! I am going to get THIS “app”.

The view was so nice, so I was really inspired to write poems about it. I’m a really good poet but it’s been a while since I wrote a poem. But last night I wrote FOUR! Here is my first poem:

"Poem about view"

This view
Is so poetic
And nice
It has lights
It’s nice

9 October 10
A few days ago I was walking in the city and I walked past two teenagers, they were talking to everyone about sex (that it’s stupid) and God (that he’s cool). They looked so young so I thought they are brainwashed or something. One of them gave me a flyer. This is a photo of the flyer. I looked at it and I thought that they were just pretending, cuz it said “What you miss by being a Christian”, and I thought it will be about cool stuff normal people do, but Christian people don’t do, so I thought they were mocking everyone, because actually they weren’t very Christian. But then I opened it, and inside it said: “HELL” and then there was a list of how the Bible describes hell (really shitty).
I think this was a really good flyer becuz it makes you think! I was thinking of all the good stuff Christians are missing instead of the bad stuff they are missing (hell). Maybe we should think more about all the bad stuff we don’t want, instead of thinking of only the good stuff we want!
Also: notice the pun on “miss”. So smart right?

A few days ago I was walking in the city and I walked past two teenagers, they were talking to everyone about sex (that it’s stupid) and God (that he’s cool). They looked so young so I thought they are brainwashed or something. One of them gave me a flyer. This is a photo of the flyer. I looked at it and I thought that they were just pretending, cuz it said “What you miss by being a Christian”, and I thought it will be about cool stuff normal people do, but Christian people don’t do, so I thought they were mocking everyone, because actually they weren’t very Christian. But then I opened it, and inside it said: “HELL” and then there was a list of how the Bible describes hell (really shitty).

I think this was a really good flyer becuz it makes you think! I was thinking of all the good stuff Christians are missing instead of the bad stuff they are missing (hell). Maybe we should think more about all the bad stuff we don’t want, instead of thinking of only the good stuff we want!

Also: notice the pun on “miss”. So smart right?

22 July 10

location review - alcatraz

Last year I went to Alcatraz once. It’s a big island with an old prison on it. Once it was a real prison, but now it is like a museum (it is in the waters of San Francisco). It was such a nice place with a lot of rooms. It was so interesting and good. I went there for the first time in my life, but: I knew the place really well, like I had been there before (like I was a prisoner there once, for example). But basically, you can’t have old lives, becuz you can only live one time. But then I found out why I knew it so well: it was a location in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4! It’s a game I had on playstation, and it is a skating game (Tony Hawk is a famous skateboarder). I liked the game a lot, and I played it all the time, I was really good at it. The level in Alcatraz was like Alcatraz, everything was the same!!!! Even the little car that drove up the hill with tourists was there, and the old building that was broken down. 

If you go to Alcatraz, you should play the game first becuz you will get to know the island better (in the game you can go to places where you are not allowed to go in reality!!!). Then you have to call the people from the Alcatraz boat company first, and reserve a place. They are always booked out, so you need to do that. Sometimes they are booked out really long before, like a week or something!!! But this is really important: there is only one company that can book the trip, becuz only they can go to Alcatraz. But so many people will come up to you and offer you an “Alcatraz Tour”, but they actually don’t take you on the island, just around it (they are not allowed to go on the island!!!!!). So if you call the real tour (HERE), you can make a tour. You can make an evening tour and then you can see the sunset which is nice!

The tour is about three hours and really interesting (you can listen to stuff people say on your listening tool). It has a lot of back story, like people who tried to run away (but it’s an island so they couldn’t!!!!) and Indians who took the island. It is really windy there so you need to dress warm. 

I recommend you to go because it is nice to look at, and many people never go to prison, so you can basically see what it would be like to go to prison. Maybe if you see it you will try to avoid doing stuff to go to prison. Here are some photos:

This is what the rooms of the prisoners looked like. It’s really uncomfortable and they didn’t have privacy when they wanted to go to the toilet. The people in the cell across would see him go to the toilet.

Those are some prison cells. They had so many so they could have a lot of prisoners at the same time (everyone had their own room).

This was their courtyard where they could walk around and play sports. Every prison has a courtyard and a lot of prison movies play in the courtyard of a prison, because it’s like where the prisoners get social (because it’s the only place where they are all together). It’s the most important thing in prison movies because otherwise the movies would just be people alone in their cell all the time, and they couldn’t really talk or plan to escape.

Basically the prisoners couldn’t go out becuz they were locked in their rooms. But they could sometimes have people visiting, but because many of the prisoners were dangerous, they had to keep a thick glass between them and the visitors. This is a photo of what it would have looked like if the prisoner had a visitor. 

(Actually I don’t know if it was for visitors, but it was a thick glass and I’ve seen it in prison movies, so I invented that)

They have a big American Flag on the island so people remember they are in the country of a lot of freedom. Behind the flag is a nice view of San Francisco. This was the “evening tour”, so this photo is shortly before sundown. 

14 July 10
Review of Alamo/National car rental (location: Geary and Jones, San Francisco):

Their service is really slow and bad but they have good crackers with cheese.

Review of Alamo/National car rental (location: Geary and Jones, San Francisco):

Their service is really slow and bad but they have good crackers with cheese.

10 July 10
Review of Soukaa the killer whale in Six Flags Kingdom in California in the North near San Francisco and Oakland:  It was good. People got really wet because he splashed water on the first 6 rows (I was row 6, I was ok). I recommend you watch it because if you are at the park, you already paid and it’s free, so basically you have to go to get your money’s worth. We watched the show at 4pm. There was also a dolphin called Cupid, but he only had his third performance and was shy and not very good.
PS: His name was Shouka because it says it on my photo.

Review of Soukaa the killer whale in Six Flags Kingdom in California in the North near San Francisco and Oakland: It was good. People got really wet because he splashed water on the first 6 rows (I was row 6, I was ok). I recommend you watch it because if you are at the park, you already paid and it’s free, so basically you have to go to get your money’s worth. We watched the show at 4pm. There was also a dolphin called Cupid, but he only had his third performance and was shy and not very good.

PS: His name was Shouka because it says it on my photo.

2 July 10

restaurant review - piraat pizzeria

There is a pizzeria that is close to my home, called “Piraat Pizzeria”. One time I ordered a large pizza from there and it was really large (because in America, everything that is large is larger) and not very good. I always thought that maybe the place is Dutch or Belgian, because it has two “a” in “pirat”, but there is nothing Dutch or Belgian about the place.

Sometimes I would walk past it and have a slice of pepperoni (salami) pizza. I never liked it. Today my friend and I had class, and we had another class soon, but we still had to take the bus there, so we wanted to eat. We went inside because we wanted to eat pizza (because we are both from Europe and think Subway is stupid). 

We got a pizza with salami (pepperoni) and feta cheese. That is usually a really good combination. We wanted to share it and eat it on the bus on our way to class. We got it and we ate it on the bus. It really didn’t taste good. It was borderline inedible and very disgusting. 

If you want to eat a pizza, don’t go there, because their pizza’s are so bad.

29 June 10
What a glorious day For a lunch date. Please let me pay You’re my lunch rape.

What a glorious day
For a lunch date.
Please let me pay
You’re my lunch rape.

23 June 10
This is a book I finished reading. I wrote about it before once, because it has a lot of chapters. This is a book review of the book.
I started reading the book and I thought it was about the girl from Cleveland. Her name is Mary Ann Singelton, and I think the name is ironic on purpose, because she is really prude and weird and always single. But then so many new characters came, and actually the book is about all of them. Mary Ann moves into a house that is on “Barbary Lane” (it is house number 28), and then basically the book talks about everyone who lives there, like they are a family or something. They talk about the landlord lady, and the girl that lives there, and her gay roommate, and a boy who lives above, and another boy who lives on the roof, and the man that Mary Ann works for, and his son in law, and his wife, and his daughter, and another woman and another gay man. I think those are all. Then towards the end there is another girl.
The story is about them all, and every chapter focuses on one person, and then somehow something happens and he meets a stranger, and then we find out it is a person we already know (who lives in the house, or is one of the other characters I mentioned). 
I like books that are written really smart or funny or both (like Tom Robbins, or Philip Roth, or like people from South America or Europe or America), but this book is written really normally. It is not funny and not very original. So much happens, but I could not tell you what the book is about (except for people), because actually nothing profound happens. They go to work, they have affairs, they smoke weed (but mainly they just talk about it), they meet people. In the end something kind of happens, but it’s the end of the book, so that doesn’t count. Maybe the second part of the series (it is a series of seven books) is more fun to read because stuff starts happening. But I don’t feel like I want to read any more of the books, because it was kind of boring. 
I think that maybe for the time it was written it was really modern and good, because it was about so many people and about how they meet randomly (like really many plots that lead together, like it is popular in movies a lot in the 90s), and that many like the books because they give a good portrait of San Francisco (the book plays in San Francisco) of the time it was written (70s), but still I don’t find it interesting. 
But I still think it is good that the book has so many small chapters, because right now I am reading another book and the chapters are so long that I always wish they were shorter, so I could find a more convenient place to stop when I have to do something else.
That was my review of “Tales of the City”. I give it 4 stars from 10, or 2 from 5. But maybe you will like it, so look into it if it sounds interesting to you. The boy who sold me the book said it is his favorite book ever, so maybe you will like it!

This is a book I finished reading. I wrote about it before once, because it has a lot of chapters. This is a book review of the book.

I started reading the book and I thought it was about the girl from Cleveland. Her name is Mary Ann Singelton, and I think the name is ironic on purpose, because she is really prude and weird and always single. But then so many new characters came, and actually the book is about all of them. Mary Ann moves into a house that is on “Barbary Lane” (it is house number 28), and then basically the book talks about everyone who lives there, like they are a family or something. They talk about the landlord lady, and the girl that lives there, and her gay roommate, and a boy who lives above, and another boy who lives on the roof, and the man that Mary Ann works for, and his son in law, and his wife, and his daughter, and another woman and another gay man. I think those are all. Then towards the end there is another girl.

The story is about them all, and every chapter focuses on one person, and then somehow something happens and he meets a stranger, and then we find out it is a person we already know (who lives in the house, or is one of the other characters I mentioned). 

I like books that are written really smart or funny or both (like Tom Robbins, or Philip Roth, or like people from South America or Europe or America), but this book is written really normally. It is not funny and not very original. So much happens, but I could not tell you what the book is about (except for people), because actually nothing profound happens. They go to work, they have affairs, they smoke weed (but mainly they just talk about it), they meet people. In the end something kind of happens, but it’s the end of the book, so that doesn’t count. Maybe the second part of the series (it is a series of seven books) is more fun to read because stuff starts happening. But I don’t feel like I want to read any more of the books, because it was kind of boring. 

I think that maybe for the time it was written it was really modern and good, because it was about so many people and about how they meet randomly (like really many plots that lead together, like it is popular in movies a lot in the 90s), and that many like the books because they give a good portrait of San Francisco (the book plays in San Francisco) of the time it was written (70s), but still I don’t find it interesting. 

But I still think it is good that the book has so many small chapters, because right now I am reading another book and the chapters are so long that I always wish they were shorter, so I could find a more convenient place to stop when I have to do something else.

That was my review of “Tales of the City”. I give it 4 stars from 10, or 2 from 5. But maybe you will like it, so look into it if it sounds interesting to you. The boy who sold me the book said it is his favorite book ever, so maybe you will like it!

22 June 10

I am so sad because on Saturday I went out with my friend because we wanted to go to a party, but then there were two underaged boys and they played a song for us on the street and we got really good friends with them, and we went into a bar, and then they had to go somewhere because someone called them, and they wanted to come back, but then they didn’t come back for so long, and the bar started to be really stupid, so we decided to leave and we never saw our friends again. How can I find our friends again?

21 June 10
San Fashionisco is my favorite city in the wurld

San Fashionisco is my favorite city in the wurld

11 June 10

a man i worry about

There is a man I worry about
He looks at me intensely
He asks me funny questions about
My life and my aunt Nancy

When I pass his shop I usually hide
Afraid that he might ask me inside
To look at all the things he’s got
Which I don’t want to have

There is a man I worry about
He makes me wonder strongly
He tells me tragic stories about
Moments where he acted wrongly

Sometimes I pass and I catch his eye
While trying so hard to just pass by
And he greets me from the doorway
In the most peculiar way

There is a man I worry about
He smiles at me so friendly
He gives me creepy compliments about
Good wishes he wants to send me

Whenever I go there and he is around
I try to leave without a sound
But he has the hearing of a hound
And greets me very friendly

7 June 10

crack poetry series continued

You are so high that you can’t walk
But you dance like a really good dancer
You’re in your groove
And in rhymes you talk
Like a really good rapper

You are wearing a cap and it’s on backwards
Public code for gangster
City code for lankster
Personal code for bad hair day

You greet many people in the station
Because you know them well
This is your daily commute
A pretty old route
After so many years of going on it
Sometimes you don’t even bother to sit
That’s how well you know it

The smell in the train is so familiar
Because it is usually so similar
But sometimes it is new
After someone threw up all over you
Or the train carpet

See instructions to be a poet HERE and more crack poetry HERE

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh